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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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I have a 17 year-old daughter. She is a senior in HS and is

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I have a 17 year-old daughter. She is a senior in HS and is feeling a ton of stress. She attends a private school that is academically rigorous, she is co-captain of her school's dance team which requires a lot of time and energy, and we live about 45 minutes from school. So, she is often overwhelmed and not getting enough sleep. She is a perfectionist so stays up late to get all of her work done. However, she is slow at it so it takes a long time. I had her tested over the summer in case we had overlooked a reading disability. She reads at the 18% level (compared to peers) while everything else is 85-90% level. The testing showed she has a lot of anxiety but no learning disabilities. The recommendation was counseling and antidepressants. She refuses to go to counseling because she says she doesn't have time and it wouldn't help anyhow. I'm trying to make a doctor's appt but she keeps saying she can't make the appts because she can't miss school or dance practice after school. I try to help her in every way that I can. She is in the process of working on college applications so is feeling that pressure too. So, to get to the point ... we got in a fight yesterday. She is very short and disrespectful towards me. I'm struggling with what is "okay". She doesn't do drugs or alcohol, she works hard in school, but I just can't take her being rude to me in person or on the phone. I know some is normal teen stuff. I guess I struggle with how understanding to be versus having her still be cooperative with me.

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Your daughter is under a great deal of stress as she is about to enter adulthood. She feels a struggle and is torn between leaving the teen age years behind and entering the unknown of attending college and taking on many adult responsibilities. Since she refuses seeking counseling, then all you can do is to talk with her and let her know that you love her and will always be there to support her. Give her the space that she needs now. Try not to be overbearing or else that will push her even further away. You cannot make her change. She has to want to change. When the college application process dies down in a few months, she will have more time on her hands and may want to see a counselor then. In the meantime, offer her support, tell her that you will not tolerate disrespectful behavior and if she does act disrespectfully, XXXXX XXXXX Limit time with friends, take away her computer, cell phone etc. Additionally, see if there is a counselor at school that will talk to her about her stress and anxiety.


Hope this helps!!!! Have a great day!!!

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