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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My daughter is 8 years old and has an issue with clothes not

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My daughter is 8 years old and has an issue with clothes not feeling good or bothering her. She has gotten to the point she doesn't want to take care of herself. She gets upset easily with her siblings and us (her parents) and she is very defiant. She talks back a lot and feels she can do anything she wants. Sometimes she is nice and good, but on rare occasions.  Please help.  I want to be able to communicate and take care of her and help her without the fighting.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter. Are you aware of any social problems that she is having at school? Has her behavior changed at school academically? Are both parents residing in the home? Is she the only child? How long has this behavior been going on? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Are you aware of any social problems that she is having at school? no


Has her behavior changed at school academically? she doesn't concentrate well and she says she doesn't like school but the teachers have not said anything about her not doing well. She is in montessori school, I tried to homeschool her but she was very difficult to teach, such as I had to be with her for everything, she did not want to do work unless I was right with her and if I ask her to do it on her own she would refuse to do the work at all.


Are both parents residing in the home? yes


Is she the only child? no, she has a brother who is 4 and a sister who is 2.


How long has this behavior been going on? For about one year and a half

By any chance, does your daughter have a weight issue? Is she taller or shorter than most kids in her class? Is she of a different ethnic group than the majority of the other students? Just trying to cover all of the bases. Thanks.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
does not have a weight issue, average height, class has many different type students, some white, black, and indian. The only difference is she may be a little behind in some of the courses such as reading and math, but she is getting better slowly, only when she wants to, which doesn't seem very often. The teacher said she is stronger in math than she is in reading.
Ok...I will be out of the office for a bit but will respond in a few hours. Have a great day. is possible that your daughter may be feeling neglected because all or most of the attention is being paid to the younger children and that may be one of the main reasons why she gets upset at her younger siblings. She is frustrated to put it in simplistic terms. She is also angry. She was the princess in the family but her siblings have stolen her limelight away. She may feel that if she wears new clothes, she can create a new identity with the new clothes. But the clothes will not make her happy either.

Your best course of action is to seek a referral from her pediatrician to see a professional counselor. She needs to take some sort of feelings management class or session in which she can learn intervention and coping strategies in dealing with the issues of the family.

As for now, ignore her rude and disrespectful behavior to a certain extent. She is craving attention but you do not want to continue to give her negative behavior attention. See if you can start praising her alot more even for the little things. She probably needs her self esteem built up as well.

Hope this helped.
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