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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My wife and I are living with her parents and its been 3 and

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My wife and I are living with her parents and its been 3 and a half years, we have a home which has been ready to move in for over a year just down the road (about 500m away). She refuses to give me a set date to move and all of our aurguments are over the same issue moving. I also feel that i am unable to be a proper father figure in my sons life cause of this (he is two now). What do you think I should do
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your wife regarding the moving. She probably enjoys the security of living with your parents. But in order for your relationship with your wife to mature and strengthen, you must move. Tell your wife that you want to have your own space with her and your son in your own house. Tell her that if you do not move soon, you might as well sell the house. See how she reacts. It is really selfish that she is not willing to move immediately. What is she afraid of? People are losing their houses everyday. She should feel blessed to have a home to move into. Her parents are still close enough to visit. Maybe marriage counseling is necessary because she just may not be willing to let go of her parents.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I have told her all that you have suggested even selling the house but still she does not move, we will go out shopping and she will want to buy something for the house, I then think that she wants to move and then once again nothing. I know that her dad is ill with demencher but her mom is in good health, her sister and here two kids live there but the father of the children does not live at the house, do you think that she wants to live here life as her sister is, even though her sister is not married. Will marriage counseling really help?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Living at your in laws house will be like fighting an uphill battle. Your wife does want to be around her dad who is sick. She also wants to be around her sister. The family unit is back together with the parents and siblings and now grandkids. You are like an outsider. Because you and your wife have so many arguments, she probably could care less if you were living with her or not. She probably sees you like a thorn in her side because she is getting what she needs from her parents and sister.


Marriage counseling will definitely assist you with your problems. You need a neutral third party to listen to your side and your wife's side of the situation and help the both of you reach some compromises. There may be other issues that may also surface that you are unaware of. Several counseling sessions on a weekly or every other week basis will immensely help. Contact your primary physician for a referral. You cannot continue to live in the situation. It is not healthy for your marital relationship nor the bonding between you and your child.


Have a great day. Be strong!!!Smile

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