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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Why is my oldest son still being extremely rude and disres

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Why is my oldest son still being extremely rude and disrespectful?
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about your son. How old is he? Are both parents in the home? What are his friends like that he hangs around with? Thanks.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
He is 18 and recently broke up with his girlfriend and then got back together. Yes, both parents are in the home, separated. His friends are decent.
Was your son rude before he broke up with his girlfriend? About how long has he been acting this way? Is he in school? Does he have a job? Thanks!!!
Hello...I would like a little background info to understand the situation a little more. Thanks.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
His father has never believed in boundaries and consequences. I have always followed through with this style of parenting. My son feels he is being treated as a child when I do this. Yet when I asked him nicely to move his car from the garage so I can go to work he says he'll move it on a condition... Things escalated, I yelled and he refused and called the cops. The cops made him move the car. As a result his Dad doesn't believe in giving him consequences for this situation. I do, so I told him he lost his gym membership. Am I doing something wrong?
Hello my friend. Growing up with no boundaries and consequences will create an adult like your son who feels that he is entitled to his way or no way. It is too late now to try and change him because he is an adult. Maybe it is time for you to use tough love. Tell your son that if he does not want to comply with the rules of your house, then he must find an alternative place to live. Things will only get worse between you and him. You are doing nothing wrong with trying to enforce rules and requests but your son will have no part in listening to you at this point. His dad is to blame mainly for your son's disrespectful ways.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for your understanding and support!!! I've been advised to remind him that I still love him, maybe in a text. Isn't that saying his behavior is ok and he can dump his frustrations on me as he has been doing?
What is saying that his behavior is alright?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
If I remind him that I still love him while he disrespects me. can always tell your child that you still love him or her in any circumstance. A mother's love is undying. That's just our nature.
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