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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I have an 8 year daughter who is showing anger issues. She

Customer Question

I have an 8 year daughter who is showing anger issues. She is very fast to react in temper with us (parents and brothers) and also her friends. She is pushing people away with these temper tantrums. She had a friend sleepover last night and because the friend did not want to do what she wanted, she told she did not want her their anymore. She is very sensitive, however shows a total lack of sensitivity to others. Help???
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter. How long has she acted in such a manner? Is she an only child? Have there been any major recent life changes? Are both parents in the home? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

My daughter is the youngest of 3 (2 older brothers). She had a hard time at school in year 1 (she is in Year 3 now) and some issues with friends. Last year she had a better year at school, however there are very few girls in her year and all with very strong personalilites (lots of top dogging!) She has had exclusion type bullying this year and has found it hard to settle with any real friends. Seems to get pushed out of situations at playtime. Appears to have had 'good' days at school, however I am concerned she is not telling me anything so I wont get upset. She has a very friendly outgoing personalility and this hardline meanness is quite upsetting to see in her.


Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding. What you need to do first is plan a visit to your daughter's school preferably at recess. Watch the interactions between your daughter and the other students. You will need to visit on several occasions. Additionally, what you need to do is select one positive interaction that your daughter can manifest daily for a week. Pick something that she has trouble with when interacting with having a temper tantrum. For instance when she can not get her way, she must use an "I" message. Example: I do not like......because....and I want you to...See if she can keep one good behavior up for the week. If she can, then she receives a big treat or a special outing. Then, change to a different behavior that you wish to target. You can also keep a behavior management chart. For each day that she behaves well, she receives a sticker for that day. After a series of 10 stickers, not all on consecutive days, then she can receive a treat or special outing. The goal is to pay more attention to positive behavior to eliminate the negative. At times, you will have to ignore the negative behavior as your daughter just craves the attention. Additionally, you need to discuss with your daughter's teacher having a behavior contract at school as well.

Hope this helps or at least gives you a starting point. Have a great day!