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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I have got a 14 year old daughter. Her mom died when she was

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I have got a 14 year old daughter. Her mom died when she was 5 she is giving me a lot of problems with her attitude, she constantly lies and manipulates people to get what she wants she is defiant and disrespectful. She is doing well at school. I'm considering putting her into a type of boarding or military school. I really want to help her but haven't been able to figure out how. She is causing huge problems for me at home with my fiance. Do you have any advice? I live near Buffalo N.Y. Thank You
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello...have the problems recently started? How long have you been with your fiancé?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
My wife died in 2002. I have been with my fiance since 2003.
The problems with my daughter have probably been bad
For about the last 2-3 years.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Is she the only child?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I have a son with my wife that died who is 11. I also have a son with my fiance who is 5.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your daughter. She is a teenager now and is probably longing for a relationship with her mother. Before you send her away to boarding school, which may be too drastic of a step, seek a referral from your daughter's pediatrician for a psychologist or a counselor. After a few months of sessions, you may uncover some deep rooted things that have been bothering your daughter that she has not been willing to discuss with you. Counseling should be your first step, individual counseling that is. Family counseling may be your next step. Then you can decide if you see no other alternative and your daughter has not benefited from counseling, boarding school may be a viable option. Hope this helps!!!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
We have taken her to several different counselors she hasn't adressed any issues that are bothering her she has only used this format to manipulate opinion that she is the victim of mistreatment. She never feels that the consequent that she recieves as a result of her behavior has anything to do with her behavior. She accepts no responsibility for her actions. She is defiant to us, disrespectful and is trying to leave my family and get to her maternal grandmothers house who gives her anything she wants and continually undermines my authority. She constantly lies to me and I have no trust for her.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello...your last statement of not trusting your daughter says it all. It may be the best option of all to send her away to boarding school so that she will have to buckle down and listen to authority. She will not be able to get her way at all. Her manipulative ways will be a thing of the past. You and your fiancé are trying to build your future. Your daughter should not prevent you from seeking happiness. She may return from boarding school a changed person and make everyone proud and very happy.
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