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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My almost 19 year old daughter is @ her first year of college,

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My almost 19 year old daughter is @ her first year of college, I have always had her FaceBk password(that was the rule), Ive had it since she opened her account but I think she thinks I forgot all about it. The truth of the matter is that I have not forgotten and I have often gone in and use it to my advantage in advicing her on life. She thinks I'm a genius.

But few days ago I saw something I did not like.
I wish I can use my old technic, but I find it difficult, it will be awkward because it is about morals, and by 19 it is what it is. Should I then change my approach, go directly to the point tell her what I read and talk to her woman to woman?
I don't mind if she changes her password XXXXX that, I think it will be the healthiest thing for both.
Please HELP!
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. What exactly did you see on your daughter's Facebook account?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
she was bragging to a guy friend about making out with 3 different guys at same party (frat party),
drinking, giving her 1st BJ to her best friend, and another one to a different guy... same weekend!
and then she tells her friend that she is proud she is still a virgen!!!

-What bothered me is bragging to opposite sex about BJ(insecure?)
-Calling herself a virgen?!?! even if she is not...what was that about! we are not in the 50's, her attitude was far from a virgen! and besides, I have never given much importance to that, it is more about respecting yourself and your body. (we talked many times).
-making out with 3 different guys in same party?!?!?! what is this animal house?

Am I being too dramatic?

Thank you for responding. Your daughter is legally an adult and can do as she pleases. However, you will always be a concerned mother. College age students, especially freshman, are often rather wild because they are away from the watchful eyes of parents. However, do not tell your daughter that you were on her Facebook account. Just talk to her face to face one day about the parties she attends. Ask her casually what kinds of things happen there. See her reaction and how she responds. Do not tell her that you know what she has done unless it was something harmful to herself and others or illegal. Then explain to her that as her mother, you hope that she makes wise decisions at parties and is not just a crowd follower who could get herself into trouble. You can ask her if she has had any relations with guys. Be as open and honest as you feel necessary.

As a side note, if she does confront you about going into her Facebook account, tell her that you have. But if she does not ask, do not tell. That may be your only link as to what may be happening in her life. On the other hand, she could be lying about what she did at the party just to get attention and as a status symbol because so many others read her posts.

Hope this helps. Have a great day.
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