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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 12 year old daughter always keeps her room in a total disaster.

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My 12 year old daughter always keeps her room in a total disaster. I've been telling her everyday for 6 years now to clean her room. When will she get it? When will she care? It doesn't embarass her when I tell her guests that she can't come outside b/c her room is messy and needs cleaning or when I show the guests her room and say that's why she can't go. You can't take one foot step w/o stepping on something; clothes, toys, school supplies, etc. Her siblings aren't like that. They are very organized. In fact, her teachers complain about her not being organized. She misplaces homework all the time. My husband confirms that she did it; however, she loses it. I've bought the school binder with the 8 pocket dividers and document protectors, a case for pencils, erasers, etc. Yet, she still loses things. What can I do to get her to be more organized and realize how it affects her grades and that getting good grades is important? Also what can I do to get her to realize the importance of keeping a room clean? She knows it's dangerous for her younger brother. Thanks for help.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your daughter and her organization. With regards XXXXX XXXXX room, she needs to be taught what a clean room looks like. Take her to model homes. Buy her home organization books that show clean and tidy rooms. Then sit down with her and tell her that you would like her room to have a complete make over. Ask her what does she think her room would look like? Then work with her within your budget in creating her perfect room. Maybe she needs a new closet organizer? Maybe she needs a checklist that tells her what needs to be done daily to keep her room in order? If she can keep a clean room after the make over for a specified amount of time like two weeks to start, then she should be rewarded. Then see if she can go for a month. She will need reminders but each month or so as she has had a clean room, add something to make the room nicer. It can be something really small. You want her to think of her room as her little castle where her friends will love to come and visit but it must be kept in order.

As for forgetting her school work, make another checklist that she keeps in the front of her main binder. Every day at the end of school when she leaves, she needs to check the list to make sure that she has everything. When you see that she is making improvements, REALLY praise her. After time goes by, celebrate her accomplishments.

These ideas will not happen overnight. You must be patient and relax and give it time. If for some reason she does not change and she is absolutely not improving at all and seems to be getting worse in her organization, contact her pediatrician and mention her problems. Additionally, mention the words: executive functioning. Your daughter may lack a strength in that area to remain focused and keep organized.

Hope this helps. Have a great day.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Relist: Other.
I tried that already earlier this year. It didn't work.