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My daughter started school and her behaviour has deteriorated

Customer Question
so much that she is...
My daughter started school and her behaviour has deteriorated so much that she is involved in a incident at school nearly everyday since she started two weeks ago.

Her parents are not together and she overheard a conversation where he said that he was not calling to our home again to see her.

Since that day the school said her behaviour has gotten worse. Dad doesn't think he did anything wrong.

Am at my witts end, don't know the best way forward. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Parenting
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Answered in 2 hours by:
9/28/2011
Parenting Counselor: proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach replied 6 years ago
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that your daughter is having. How old is she? Is she an only child? What are some specific examples of the incidents that she is involved in at school?
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Hi

 

She is 4 years old and won't be 5 until June next year.

 

She doesn't appear to want to share when she is in a group situation, but the worst part is that she hits the other children. When the teachers address this she knows she's done wrong and then starts crying uncontrolable and then quietens down.

 

She is an only child but at nursery we didn't have these issues.

 

Many thanks in advance as not sure if what I'm doing is what she needs.

 

Parenting Counselor: proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach replied 6 years ago
Hello and Thank You you for responding. First of all...RELAX and take a deep breath. You are not a bad parent and your daughter is not a bad child.

First of all, the stress of having parents not together can be very traumatic and emotional for a child of any age. You may want to seek counseling for your daughter. The counselor will probably use a technique called play therapy to assist your daughter with her feelings.

Then there is the issue of her behavior with other children. What needs to happen is to create a behavior contract...so to speak. Tell your daughter three to five positive behaviors that you would like her to display for the day. Three is probably enough....like 1. I will share. 2. I will keep my hands to myself 3. I will not cry like a baby at school. Then if your daughter can make it through the day completing all of these tasks, she receives a sticker on a chart for the day. If she had a bad day, she receives nothing but a reminder as to how to behave. After receiving 5 stickers, and they do not have to be on consecutive days, she will receive a treat or a special outing. Make sure the stickers are of things that she really likes. The focus should be on focusing more on positive behavior.

This process will not happen overnight. Be patient and you will see changes.

Have great evening.
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago

Many thanks for your detailed answer, it has helped greatly especially the reward chart.

 

 

Parenting Counselor: proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach replied 6 years ago
Contact me any time for future concerns. Thanks.
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