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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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Im divorced and my 15 year old daughter rarely wants to stay

Resolved Question:

I'm divorced and my 15 year old daughter rarely wants to stay at my place during the usual times her siblings stay with me... She says it's because she has so much going on, and she has to get up earlier to get to school or it's further to her friends houses( about 8 or 9 mins for both , compared to her Moms or which friend) ... I really want to spend more time with her and have her over.... Suggestions how to deal with this
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,
Please do not take this personally. It is very common behavior in a 15 year old and we might be more worried if she was not finding friends more important than parents at this time. Remember that, although she physically lives with mom, I suspect she is more interactive with her friends than with mom.

You may need to invite her on outings in which you and she spend time together alone (out to dinner, to an event). The others may be jealous but tell them when they are older you will spend special alone time with them as well. It will become a "rite of passage" in your household. You may need to be happy with small snip-its of time for now.

Another strategy is to include her friends at your house. Allow sleep overs and the like. Again, this is normal teen behavior and not to be considered disrespectful. She will thank you when she is older for not pressuring her. You relationship will be stronger for it. Be there for her when she needs evidenced by her requests to see you. Text her here and there so she knows you are thinking of her (i.e., "Have a nice day").

I hope this has provided you with some new ideas and a new direction in your relationship with her. Good luck.
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