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I am having a really rough time with my son. He is just gone

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two. He has alway been...
I am having a really rough time with my son. He is just gone two. He has alway been a whinger and quite clingy but of late he seems to be getting worse. it is now at the stage where I find myself feeling quite down. I feel I can't go anywhere because if I call to friend house he won't let me speak with my friends as he is constantly whining for my attention. it is relentless, he is wanting me to pick him up constantly and even when I am doing house chores he he following me around. I do work and while he is with the childminder he seems ok but the minute I pick him up he is off again. he seems unhappy with himself and at this stage I feel I need some help or guidance. Any advice?
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Parenting
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Answered in 2 hours by:
8/17/2011
Parenting Counselor: proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach replied 6 years ago
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your son. Is he an only child? Are both parents in the household? Does he ever get to interact with other children? Do you work? If so how many days a week and how many hours? Does he ever have temper tantrums in which he completely throws himself to the ground? Thank you for your responses in advance.
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago
he has an older sister who is four.Yes, both parents are living here. I am currently working four days per week, however this is just for the summer months and I will finish up next week. He goes to a childminder who I have used for years. she has a number of other children so he gets to interact with them. he seems really happy in there. he doesn't really have big tantrums. it's more consistent whining. he is particularly bad in the morning when you literally can't look at him sideways and he will start whinging. he gets on fairly well with his sister however is constantly competing with her for toys and my attention. he hits her and pinches her a lot.
Parenting Counselor: proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach replied 6 years ago

Hello and Thank You for responding. Your son is acting out because he wants your attention especially now that you are working in the summer months. He does not yet have all of the verbal skills to explain his feelings and therefore he acts out toward you and sometimes with his sister. He misses you while you are away at work even though he seems to be fine with the childminder. He acts worse in the morning because he feels like you will soon be abandoning him as he goes to the childminder.

 

I am not sure if he just turned 2 or is closer to 3. But anyway, you must start each day out telling him what you expect. Or you can discuss it in the evening before he goes to sleep at night. Your goal is to improve his behavior to be more positive. Therefore, you can use a daily sticker chart. It would look something like this:

 

 

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday

 

Morning

 

Afternoon

 

Evening

 

Every time he behaves well for a certain time period, he will receive a sticker. Let's say on Sunday Morning, he behaved really well with no behavior flareups. Then he would receive a sticker for that time period. If Sunday afternoon he had some problems with whining, he would not receive anything. If on Sunday night, he had a great night, he would receive another sticker. Make sure that they are stickers of child friendly characters or things that he really likes. Then after every 10 stickers, her receives a special treat, activity, or outing. As his behavior improves, change the number of stickers to 15 and then later on 20. You need to place the sticker chart in a place where everybody can see it, especially your son.

 

The goal is to make him understand that he is responsible for his own behavior. When he does still misbehave, tell him what you would have liked him to do instead of the negative choice that he made. Make sure he understands what to do the next time. The key is consistency. It will not happen overnight. It make take about 2 months until you see big changes.

 

Also, try to spend as much quality time with him alone as you can. Read a book. Crawl around on the floor and pretend you are animals. Go to the park. Build with toddler blocks. Finger paint. Paint with water and brushes on the sidewalk.

 

Good luck to you and have a great day.

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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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