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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Good morning I have twin girls age 9 and am at my wits end.

Customer Question

Good morning
I have twin girls age 9 and am at my wits end. They love each other very much but fight a LOT! I struggle to get them to listen to me and have tried everything, Not even my husband seems to get them to listen to him. They are also struggling with their school work and they are far behind with their reading abbillaties. Do I need to take them to see a Pshycologist? Does every patrent go thrue this? Is it a phase that will pass?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.



"Do I need to take them to see a Psychologist? Does every parent go trough this? Is it a phase that will pass? "



To an extent each child may act out at times. If you find that this is a chronic occurrence with the twins that is causing significant distress/disruptiveness, then it is a good idea to have them evaluated by a psychologist to determine what is causing the behavior. Then, if it is a diagnosable condition ex: ODD, they'd offer appropriate tools to deal with this and work with both of them and with you- the parents.


It may be helpful to find a setting where in addition to individual counseling, family and group therapy is available. Behavior is generally purposeful. Something is not only triggering the behavior but it is also allowing them to continue to act that way. A clinician would look at all of the different factors ex- is the behavior taking place only at home or at other places ex: school, at grandparent's homes, camp, etc. The behavior may also be as a result of how the process/integrate information and their inability to cope well with certain stimuli in their environment. That is why it is appropriate at this point to seek professional assistance for them to cover all of your basis. You've mentioned that they do not respond well to consequences at home.


Customer: replied 6 years ago.

We live near Louis Trichardt in the Limpopo Province, about 150km from Polokwane/ Pietersburg. Can you recommend someone in this are who can help me?

Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.

What is the zip code?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.



Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.

I did not realize you're in SA. I'm in the US and do not know of anyone personally there. Sorry I'd opt out as the initial question did not ask for referral but for feedback. There is a list of the approved clinicians


Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.
You welcome. When you phone the clinician, make sure they work with kids and families.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Hello. Do you still need assistance in dealing with your twins at home until a clinician can be seen on a regular basis?