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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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We had a great relationship with our daughter and son inlaw

Resolved Question:

We had a great relationship with our daughter and son inlaw for 10 years,we use to do many things together(sking,camping,vacations and meals).My grandson was born over 5 years ago, my wife babysat for the first 3 years of his life(no charge). Three years ago we gave them land and a considerable amount of money to build a house( no strings attached). Two years ago my son inlaw changed in his actions toward us and stopped doing anything with us. We are very limited in the time our grandson can spend time with us,we miss him and them terrible. I am considering writing them a letter stating our feelings , or should I just leave things as they are
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your son in law. How far away do they live from you? About how often do you see your grandson and daughter and son in law nowadays? Could they have made it without your giving them the money and the land? Are the parents both employed? About how old are they? Do they have just the one child? Do they act like everything is ok or is there tension when they come around? Thank you so much.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

They live about a quarter mile away

We see my grandson and daughter about one hour a week ,son inlaw about half hour a month

No they would still be in a apartment

daughter 34 son inlaw 37

Both employed

one child

alot of tension

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
where is your advice,I can not see it
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

I would suggest that you, your spouse, daughter, and son in law all sit down and have an open and honest discussion about how you miss the way things were in the past and how you would like to spend more time with each other. Then you can ask them has there been anything that you or your spouse ever did to cause a distance between you and them or is there anything that you can do to improve the relationship. I know that sounds very easy to do but with the tension already present, it may not be possible. But you can call up your daughter and son in law and invite them over saying that you have some important family matters that you would like to discuss. If they turn down your request, then write a letter without blaming anyone for anything. It is best try to figure out where everyone stands with this situation in stead of playing a guessing game in which no one will win. Also, for the sake of your want everyone to get along and be peaceful.


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