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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 19 year old son is verbally abusive to me and his sister

Customer Question

My 19 year old son is verbally abusive to me and his sister and to his dad to. He hates us all. He has been expelled from 4 schools and seems to think he is better than everyone else, even though he does not work, is up or out all night and gets up at about 4pm. He does nothing around the house and lashes out all the time. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and aspd but this is not being treated with medication as he has a heart murmur and has to have more tests. He has trashed the house, gets into fights and uses cannabis frequently. He has been arrested a few times. He is manipulative, steals from us and then sells our things. I am at my wits end and we want him to mov out. He lived with a friend for a few months but is back now and he will not change. He is very childish and immature in his arguments, evading the real issue and just stands there calling us names and telling us to eff off. He has threatened suicide before if we don't help him out when he owes people money. We do not get on with his girlfriend as she is just like him and has behaved very badly towards us. He refuses to look for a job and the situation and atmosphere is awful. He hates his 17 yr old sister and is cruel and nasty to her. She wants to move away. I feel totally trapped. A short while ago he started arguing with me in the street and then spat in my face. Why is he like this? He was always a cheeky little boy, but now I cannot even bear t look a him. Please help. No-one understands.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your son. He is an adult and is being abusive to his family. It is not fair to you to live in fear and to walk on eggshells all of the time because anything may set him off. You need to tell him again that he must leave. Have you ever thought about putting his belongings on the front porch while he is away at work and then changing the locks to the house. When he comes home and gets out of control, you can call the police on him. Additionally, you can press charges for his stealing your things. Since he refuses to live by the rules of the house, he must not be allowed to live there. Another more drastic alternative is to move away from him. It sounds as though his behavior is a result of his drug usage. You must make a drastic change before someone in the family gets hurt as a result of your son's out of control behavior.


Thank you.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Relist: Inaccurate answer.
I have clearly stated my son does not work, so to suggest that I put his cloths out while he is at work means that my question has not been read properly. There is no link for a refund, but this is what I would like. Nothing I did not do already - no help at all.