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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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I have a 3.5 year old boy who used to always use the potty.

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I have a 3.5 year old boy who used to always use the potty. However, he has been peeing in his pants in school every single day but no one is the wiser since his nanny goes with his and changes him without telling anyone. Lately, he has been pooping in his pants and when we get angry with him he throws the poo at us! He also pulls his pants down and exposes himself to anyone he gets angry with! There is no changes in his life to explain his out of control behavior! However, he used to cry and scream his way into doing what he wants. We seldom ignore his screams. I have kept him out of school and stayed with him day and night trying to control his behavior. He now apologizes when he pees or poos but he still poops every single day in his pants while playing with his 2 year old brother. He also pees in his pants at least twice a day. Sometimes in purpose when he is upset saying I will pee right here and he does pee where he is. We have been at this for 3 days now. I took away a lot of privileges and gave him timeout. This controlled his tantrums a bit but not his peeing and pooping. What should I do? I am pregnant and about to have a c-section in 3 weeks and he was ok about the new born all along. I have enough time to get over this problem? Cuz his school now is complaining about him and won't accept him coming in until he stopes pooping all over the place as they have put it! Please help me! I don't know what to do. When I ask him why he does what he does, he denies the whole thing saying that he is a good boy and he always goes to the bathroom!

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the difiiculties that you are having with your son and his bathroom problems. To rule out any medical issues, you may want to have him evaluated by his pediatrician. If there are no medical reasons for his behavior, then you must focus more on your son's positive actions. At 3.5 years of age, he is very well aware of his actions. Set up a reward system for every time or every couple of hours that he stays dry . Keep him in regular underwear. Make sure he is being taken to the restroom on a regular basis. He may become so involved in playing that he forgets to visit the bathroom until it is too late.


Use a sticker reward system. When he has a great day or half a day of being pee and poop free, then you give him a sticker on a chart or on a calendar. After 10 stickers (or you determine the amount), he can be rewarded with some treat or activity. But you must make a REALLY big deal about when he pees or poops in the toilet and not on himself. This process may take a while because he knows that he is in complete control of his behavior. Your goal is to try and shape and mold his behavior by focusing on the positive actions and not on the negative which will not help him improve. The nursery must be willing to work with you or else find another nursery.


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