Parenting

Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Parenting

When the childs birthday falls on Fathers day and it is the

Customer Question
When the child's birthday falls...
When the child's birthday falls on Father's day and it is the Mother's year to have the child for her birthday, does Father's Day trump the child's birthday (also the Mother would have her the following day anyway)??
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Parenting
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Answered in 13 minutes by:
5/20/2011
Parenting Counselor: Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist replied 6 years ago
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Verified

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

That is a good question. It seems that a child's birthday is a unique event in the child's life. The question should be not one that is answered by legalities and technicalities, however, but by the will of the birthday girl.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

It is always best for the child to try to have smooth relationships between divorced parents. If a compromise could be made, where the child could spend father's day with the father and the next day with the mother (with a big birthday party on THAT day), then a good solution can be reached.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

It is never in the best interest of the child to make a joyful holiday the cause of a serious argument. What do you think?

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

You don't seem to be responding, so let me say the following. This situation should be handled in a gracious manner by all parties concerned. What trumps everything is the feelings and well-being of the child. Even if there is bad blood between mother and father, they need to have the maturity and good sense to think of the child's well-being first. If they cannot do this, then the best they can do is to abide by the letter of the law.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

I hope I have answered your question, and wish a very happy birthday to your granddaughter.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Best wishes,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC

Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Parenting Counselor: Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist replied 6 years ago
Thank you so much.

Elliott
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
Even if there is bad blood between mother and father, they need to have the maturity and good sense to think of the child's well-being first. If they cannot do this, then the best they can do is to abide by the letter of the law.

Which brings me back to the original question...what is the "letter of the law" in this matter. I should mention that Father's Day would be the day our family would be celebration her birthday with her. Also the only day that we would have all members of the family together for both events. Her mom does not ususally do anything "big" at all for her birthday but would ask for her if she thought it would mess up our plans...sad but true :( We do not want to be the difficult ones - we just want to celebrate her day with all members of the family.


Customer reply replied 6 years ago

the last part of my question I am still not clear about. I am sorry, I had a phone call while he was responding and could not continue the conversation.

Customer reply replied 6 years ago
still waiting on an answer to the above reply...maybe I am not doing something correct.
Parenting Counselor: Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist replied 6 years ago
Hello, and thank you for getting back to me. I was busy with a client until now and did not become available until just a moment ago.

The last part of your question, was " Does Father's Day trump the child's birthday?" If I have been unclear on my answer above, let me tell you that the child's birthday is more important. Most important is avoiding drama, tension, arguments, or any negativity, for that will become the unwanted centerpiece of her birthday.

Best wishes,

Elliott Sewell

Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
So we should let her choose where she would like to spend her birthday? I am very ok with that. She is has been put in the middle too often and she is just too precious for this!! Ok, thank you! We will just make other arrangements if she chooses to go back to her Mother's for her birthday. The only thing I forsee happening is...she may choose to be with us and then what do we say to her mother?
Parenting Counselor: Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist replied 6 years ago
Thank you again for getting back to me,

I am so pleased when talking with a reasonable person who is willing to work for the good of the child, rather than for their own personal gratification.

I think that letting her choose where to spend her birthday should be her decision, and she should understand that everyone is OK with her decision, that her mom and dad and grandparents all love her and always want to stand behind her.

If her mother is a reasonable person, then she should be happy to support her daughter's decision and she can rest assured that the celebration of her birthday will continue when she returns to her.

Your granddaughter will have the benefit of an entire birthday "weekend", which should thrill her very much.

You may use a printed copy of our exchange as a "document" to show that you have sought non-partisan advice. In fact, when I first answered this letter, I though you were on the mother's side of the family, which did not affect my answer.

If she decides to be unreasonable, then you will have to obey the letter of the law and let her mother have her way. If she does that, she will be making a bad impression on her daughter for her unreasonable manner, and this will be to her deficit as well as to your grandaughter's.

Hopefully, she has the maturity and wisdom to keep the tone peaceful and constructive, and she will do what is right, reasonable, and best for her little girl.

Best wishes,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
7,664 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Cher

Cher

Teacher

94 satisfied customers

Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2

Jennifer

Jennifer

School Psychologist

77 satisfied customers

Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.

professional_Alison

professional_Alison

Child Care

77 satisfied customers

Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

40 satisfied customers

Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Doctor

38 satisfied customers

PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy

Eveningstargazer

Eveningstargazer

Family Counselor

31 satisfied customers

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Family Counselor

21 satisfied customers

Licensed social worker and psychotherapist

< Previous | Next >

Related Parenting Questions
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher is preparing our child for a dance competition. She keeps telling the child not to be nervous , not to be afraid. It seems to produce an opp… read more
Gaurav Gupta
Gaurav Gupta
MD, CEO
Post-Doctoral Degree
22 satisfied customers
I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year
Hi Pearl I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year old boy. I would like to get some advice on how to calmly handle my two year old. He is quite a handful, and it gets especially frust… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 13 year old daughter currently lives with my parents (her
My 13 year old daughter currently lives with my parents (her grandparents). My current wife (her stepmom) and I are visiting my parents for the holidays with our two daughters. My daughter who lives w… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my boyfriend and I, we live together, and one of her biggest issues is that she doesn't stop lying, her lies go from “I didn't do it-to lying to… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with us. I've been with her mom for 10 years now and this child now adult has always been very selfish. She puts herself first for everything and … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as dysgraphia) which was diagnosed in grade one, but through the psych assessment we also learned he has extremely high cognitive ability. For … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to
i have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to teach him discipline because i don't wanna spank or hit. So ive been introducing tasks around the house. And geting him to say yes sir and no s… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has
Hi, I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has started spreading untruths this is a brief only Thank you janys… read more
CamilleRN
CamilleRN
Registered Nurse, Director of Nursing
4,150 satisfied customers
Dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think
dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think but when ever we will ask him to study he dont like. he make the face and you fell that he is sick. he sit long time for one subject to do hi… read more
danny541
danny541
Retired
608 satisfied customers
I raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me,
i raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me, to build a strong bond. i was a young single mom and did the best i knew how. i then ended up introducing someone into both of our lives th… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in school. I have put him on punishment, and he knows I am in constant contact with his teacher. It is not that he can't do his work, it is that he… read more
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Consultant Pediatrician
Doctoral Degree
2,246 satisfied customers
Whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in
whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in the orange county and LA area.… read more
Michael
Michael
Research Librarian
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
84 satisfied customers
This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a
(This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a parenting expert. I have a 5 year old pre-adoptive child in my home. I am her 5th placement in 3 years. This week, she received a diagnosis of… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Associate Professor of Communication
Doctoral Degree
102 satisfied customers
My three year old turning four in September still isn't
my three year old turning four in September still isn't potty trained. When he was two and a half his grandmother saw that he accidentally pooped his pants had lost her mind held him on the toilet and… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step son argues with me about everything I say. I'm tired
I'm tired of it and want to say something in a loving way … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed away, she disinherited her daughter, B.D. *******, because B.D. ****** wrote a book about her saying that she was a drunk and all of that. In … read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,698 satisfied customers
Far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled" Eyre"
far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte. In chapter one, ***** *****, the son of the Reed family, scolds Jane Eyre for reading one of the Reed family's boo… read more
Cher
Cher
Teacher
Masters Degree
94 satisfied customers
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl who will be 6 y/o on March, 2018 and my son who will be 3 years old this month (nov, 2017).Their personalities are very different and I'm very… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x