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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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My 2.8 years old daughter is toilet trained for pipi, but refuses

Resolved Question:

My 2.8 years old daughter is toilet trained for pipi, but refuses to poop in the potty. she would hide and poop in her undies. she naps and sleeps without diapers. Day care can't stand it anymore and wants to put her back on diapers. i tried to reason with her but nothing helps. the fact that i get upset with her doesnt help either... I dont want to put her back on the diaper because it would be a step back, but i dont know what to do... HELP!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.



Have medical causes have been ruled out? How long has this been going on (can you think of any event around the time this behavior manifested?)


Info request = info gathering. Any expert can reply.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
the doctor says she is fine. no major changes in her life/behavior . she has been potty trained for 3 weeks. my mom lives abroad and she was here for the begining of her potty training and she left 2.5 weeks ago. i dont think it is related, but this is the only notable event in her life lately...
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.

You may not believe that it is related (and a percentage of it it may not be) but kids like routines and what is predictable. Her behavior may be in response to your mom not being there and she's feeling hopeless or anxious (or both)


Whatever your mom did while she was there during the potty time will be something you may want to implement/recreate. Whether it it s lot of praise, rewards when she finely goes (but never punishment when she does not) and then talking to her about how girls growing up do this on their own is going to be important.

The workers at her day care should not show frustration when she does not do it. She should not feel guilty or shamed. The dippers idea is something you can revisit for the time being. When your mom calls, have her talk to her on the phone in age related language to encourage her to do what she did before.



Everyone Poops (My Body Science Series) by Taro Gomi and Amanda Mayer Stinchecum (Paperback )

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
so u dont recommend i put a diaper on her for nap/ night time so that she can poop without pressure?
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.
No, use the diaper while she's getting back to controlling her bowel movements. Spend a lot of time at home reinforcing that behavior. At the day care, the workers may not have as much time to do so because of taking care of the other kids. Always praise and make sure she acknowledges your positive feedback. Rewards may be in the form of telling her and following up immediately with some play time (both of you together, a small snack/candy, hug/kiss, etc)
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