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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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My 18 year old son was attending his for semester at college.

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My 18 year old son was attending his for semester at college. I bought him a new truck for graducation, paid for college and gave him $250.00 or more a month to just blow. Everything was paid for. He came home every week-end to see his girlfriend, which is a four our drive one way for him. Which cost me extra for gas money to go back. My ex-husband gave him money to come home on. This went on all semester. I told him several times he could not keep coming home every week-end and expect to make grades. On top of that he would come into town and might come by to see me for 5 or 10 min. all week-end. This hurt my feelings. I expressed this to him. I told him what if I came up to school and spend the week-end and only came by to see you for a few min. He said he wouldn't like it, but things didn't change. Then at Christmas he came in on the 14th and dropped off his clothes and left. Staying at his 17 year old's girlfriend's house. Which I didn't approve of. He would return phone calls or come by. So, I suspended his phone to get him to call me and then he had the nerve to text me from his girlfriends phone and curse me for not paying his phone bill. I finally talked with him and told him to bring back my truck and his phone. He did and has not spoke to me since. I don't know what to do. I love him and miss him. I have tried to reach out to him several times. I just wanted him to show me some respect, and appreciate what I do for him.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing with your son. His manifestation of disrespect to you is a sign of his immaturity. He has all of theses freedom now away while away from you in college. He is given money as well. He has it made and he knows that. Who pays for his college? Where does he live while in school? Do you pay the note on his car?


Since he is completely ignoring you, the next step is to write him a letter. Put all of your feelings out there. Tell him how you love him dearly but do not appreciate the lack of respect that he has for you. Ask him what have you done wrong? Then wait a while...weeks or even months and see what happens. It has often been said that "Time heals all wounds." He may come around and realize that he truly needs you. In the meantime, keep his phone service suspended. Decrease the amount of money that you send to him. Let your letter speak for itself. He is probably being influenced by his girlfriend and her family right now.


Also, it would help if his dad is on your side with the issues as well. Hopefully, he still has a relationship with him.


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