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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I am in the middle of a dilemma and I need some advice. I

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I am in the middle of a dilemma and I need some advice. I have a six year old son and a 14 year old severely disabled child, but my question is pertaining to my 6 year old. I made ana decision to try and rebuild a relationship with my ex-husband because of our son's. But my ex-husband and I are very different people. He suffers with a paranoid personality disorder, social anxiety disorder and extremely dependent on me for his decision making. We constantly fight in front of our son, when I try to defuse or my six year old attempts to defuse the problem it seems to just continue to escallate (sp). I believe he is a little jealous of my being protective of our son, because when he reprimands him for no reason I intervene. The way I react is in allowing my anger to get in the way and yell and scream at his dad in front of him. He loves his dad, because he knows that his dad takes medication to keep him calm and my son has a huge heart and always wants to help and be protective of him. But I feel that my ex is putting our son in a position that he should not be in. My ex has no friends and constantly needs to take my son with him on errands, because he cannot go places alone. I want to protect my son's and myself and I have scheduled an appointment to see a counselor, because I need to make changes. I also need to help my son understand why time with his dad will be limited. I am afraid that this is damaging my son cognitively and affecting his developmental state. How can I help him and create a more harmonious environment for all of us?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having in your family. Counseling is an excellent place to start. Limiting visitations is also a good idea unless they have been court ordered. Would it be possible for you to stay away from your ex as well to try and decrease the problems? Have you suggested that your ex acquire counseling as well? On the other hand, it might do your family some positivity if you, your ex, and your 6 year old all went to counseling together. Your ex has too many issues and seems to take them out on you and then puts your son in the middle of everything. Try to cease arguing in front of your son and never speak badly of your ex to your son. Family therapy and counseling may be the best route.
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