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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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Hi there. My grand-daughter is not yet 3 yrs old. She has a

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Hi there. My grand-daughter is not yet 3 yrs old. She has a very close, possessive bond with my daughter, who has already spoken to her about the way she behaves towards me. She has explained that I am her Mummy, just like she is my grand-daughter's Mummy and that I love the little one very much. She also asked my grand-daughter why she was being unkind to Granny, and the reply was "You're MY Mummy" which my daughter responded to with a big cuddle and reassurance that she was her only Mummy in the world and I was her very own Granny. It got better for a couple of weeks, but now has gone back to where it was with her telling me "Go away, I don't want you" whenever I try to participate in her activities. My response is to tell her it's all right I'm not going to touch anything and to walk away. She also turns her head away when I try to hug and kiss her. I never believe in invading a child's space until they invite me. She has two older step-siblings, and they always welcome me with an embrace. But the idea doesn't appeal to her! Hope I'm handling it the right way, but it is distressing because it has been going on for over a year now. Any more ideas?
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. It is completely normal for 2 and 3 year olds to be very attached to one or both parents and to feel lots of anxiety when another person, family member or not, tries to interact with them. Do not feel like you have done anything wrong. To help the situation, your daughter must include you in more activiites with her and your grand-daughter. Then after a while, she must bring your grand-daughter over to your house as much as she can. At first, you can be present. After a while, your daughter can drop off your grand-daughter and leave her there with you for a few hours. Your grand-daughter must become accustomed to spending time with you. When she is with you, interact with her as much as you can, Act silly, play dress up, make tents, crawl around on the floor with her, play with her dolls, have a tea party, bake a cake, cupcakes, or cookies together, play with play dough, draw or fingerpaint, etc. All of these activities will appeal to your grand-daughter. Your daughter must make sure that you are given the opportunity to spend time with your grand-daughter. Hope this helps. If you need more advice, just ask.Laughing
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