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Hi I have a 17 year old daughter who is always lippy and

Hi I have a 17 year...
Hi

I have a 17 year old daughter who is always lippy and she does not help around the house much, she is not doing well acedemically as well and she does not even keep her room tidy, she does not follow instructions well and when instructions are repeated she is rebellious. I have made threats that I shall report her to social services but this does not help too. I want to be her friend but she always argues. I don't know what to do with her or her behaviour. She spends all her time in her room and only comes down when she has to and even than we have an argument. I try to meet her half way but she has no reps t for me at all.
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Answered in 13 minutes by:
3/6/2011
proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hello..Are you the mom or dad? Are both parents in the house? Is she an only child? Has she always behaved like this? What are her friends like?
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago
I am the mum
My husband is with us . I have 2 sons and she is the 2 nd child. She has been behaving like this since she was 14 and I have been taking things away from her ( punishing her so that she learns her lessons). She has good friends but o feel she has lost her self-confidence and hence over does it with her make as well when she goes out. If confronted she will say it looks fine and if taken away from her she will buy it with her lunch money instead. Does she need theory?
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
I meant to say therepy
What do you take away from her that she buys with her own lunch money? I missed that part. What are her grades REALLY like? Why does she feel she has no self confidence?
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago
I have taken her makeup from her as she always over does it and then she buys it from her lunch money. I have also taken her laptop & phone away coz I felt she use to spend alot of time on it and it effected her college work. She use to go to a private school and she decided to go to a sixth form college to do her A levels . She passed her GCSE not with flying colours She got A, 5 B's ,C. She has sat her exams in January and we should get her results on 10th march . She has put on some weight and that is the reason she gives that she puts on her makeup to make her feel good . Lately she is doing something about her weight but I feel she is not sticking to it and if pointed put to her we end up arguing. Also if I say that she is not doing enough college work she will say she had been doing work at school but her grades don't reflect that at all. To me basically she does not work hard enough even in the parents evening she was told she schools look over her work but I can't see her doing that at home and she says that she does in her fertile at college.
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
I am using an iPhone so some words cum out a bit weird
Hello my friend. For you to say that you wanted to report your daughter to social services makes me feel that the situation is extremely unbearable with your daughter and her actions. There are many issues going on with your daughter: her self confidence, weight issues, school, and family relationship problems. If you have tried your hardest to enforce consequences and she still behaves in inappropriate manners then the next step could be to seek professional assistance from a counselor, therapist, or psychologist. Your daughter needs to be motivated about many aspects of her life. She needs to develop coping strategies to assist her. She can receive intervention and assistance in a non threatening environment with a professional who has been trained to deal with her problem areas. If more advice is needed, just ask.
proexpert37
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