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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 9 yo son as ADD but is not very hyper. However, he is very

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My 9 yo son as ADD but is not very hyper. However, he is very emotional and often falls in a cycle of defeat on a matter. For example, if we give him a deadline about cleaning his room (and we make sure that it is not overwhelming), he gets extremely overwhelmed because he lets his emotions get the better of him. That causes him to slow down his bahavior, and therefore fail. We have tried numerous measures to motivate him, maintain his positive outlook, but nothing works. In other words there seems to be very little internal motivation and external motivate tears him down. (punishment for not obeying, rewards for succeeding-neither works) What do you suggest?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

Hello my friend. ADD children have a very difficult time focusing. When you tell him to do something, at first give him a one step direction such as clean up the clothes in your room. Be specific as to what you want him to do. Then praise him for a job well done and move on to the next task that you would like him to complete such as put all of your toys away. You may even want to have all of the tasks listed on a checklist that your son can check off when he accomplishes them.


ADD children get rather discouraged very easily as well as sidetracked. They are very self critical of themselves as well. Your goal is to get your son to focus on one task at a time and complete it. You must also foster self esteem by praising even the smallest accomplishments. Be consistent and you will see results. If you need more assistance, please ask. My 10 year old has ADD so I am very familiar with your struggles.

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