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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Our son is 6 years old. We just moved in the summer and had

Customer Question

Our son is 6 years old. We just moved in the summer and had a new baby in October. He is kind and funny and gentle and sweet....and a big tattle tale! His teacher said that he is not forming the friendships that the other kids are because he is very critical of the other children, tattling or telling them they're doing theor work wrong, he basically parents every child. I'm always reminding him that a good friend doesn't parent them or tattle when it has nothing to do with him, but he's not stopping. The teacher says he's not excluded as they work in groups but when the kids are planning their recess, they do not seek out our son to play with, but when he asks if he can they say yes. I've talked to my son about this several times and he seems oblivios to the fact, he says all the kids in his class are his friends and he has a great time at school. Another thing she brought up was that he rushes through his work and thenfinishes and says "i'm done, I'm the best at math" when it's all wrong because he didn't take his time. Academically, he is right in the middle of the class. His teacher did say that he has a big heart and is a nice boy one on one but I want him to be liked and accepted by his peers. I thought if we did a list of goals for the day at school, like, compliment someones work, encourage a friend, and no tattling than he could get a reward at the end of the week, I'm not sure what to do....PLEASE HELP:(  Also, his kindergarten teacher last year said that he was the class "policeman" but that he had lots of friends and was sweet and he even got an award for encouraging his friends, his teacher this year was shocked to hear that!  She said that's definaletly not the case here. He has been an only child for so long that I think he just knows how to parent and not how to be a friend.  this started a month before the baby was born so i don't think it's that, he gets a ton of attention as well from both parents.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Is your son involved in any sports activities in which he would be a part of a team and have to be a part of a team and have to contribute equally? Have you ever thought about implementing a behavior chart at school?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
He was involved in t-ball this past summer and loved it! He takes swimming lessons right now, but not on a team. Yes, I just emailed his teacher about this....I was thinking that we would set goals for the day ie: not tattling, encouraging a friend and complimenting a students work and he would get a gold star, once he has 5 or 10 he could choose his reward like renting a video game or movie night, or going to a special play place that he likes.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
The sports are a great outlet for boys (I have three sons). Also, creating a behavior chart that focuses on the positive behavior is excellent. The chart should be a daily chart and he should get a star for each time frame if he has met all of his goals. Let's say Morning, Recess, Late Morning, Lunch, After Lunch. So he can get 5 stars a day. Then if he can have a week of at least 3 or 4 days where he had all stars, he would receive a treat. You are working up to achieving all stars for the week ultimately. The key to a behavior chart is consistency.