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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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My wife and I are having a disagreement on how to handle a

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My wife and I are having a disagreement on how to handle a situation with our teenager and his girlfriend. Our son just turned 15 on 2/1 and his girlfriend is 14. Less than 2 weeks before his birthday, my wife and I had a conversation with the girlfriend about our belief that teenagers their age should not be purchasing each other expensive gifts (we had previously told her of our 25 dollar limit and reiterated it to her at this time). Subsequent to this conversation, the girlfriend purchased a pair of sneakers for him that cost well over the limit we allowed (over $60). I told our son that he couldn't accept the gift but my wife thinks he should accept and that we should pay her the difference with a promise that she'll never do this again because she feels by not allowing our son to accept the gift is punishing him for her mistake. This is not the first time that the girlfriend has tried to manipulate us.

Can you offer any advice?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

YES YES YES!!!! The girlfriend may be trying to keep a hold on your son by purchasing the expensive gifts. Have your son return the shoes if he accepted them. Do not even consider paying the difference. Where would she get $60 at the age of 14 to buy shoes for her boyfriend in the first place? A simple card and maybe a movie or favorite DVD or CD would have sufficed. Even a teen age friendly t-shirt would have been more appropriate. This may not be a "good" girlfriend for your son if she is manipulative. Simply explain to your son all of your feelings. He may not agree but he will be forced to listen. From the many parents that I come into contact with, it is the teenage girls and not the teenage boys who are more advanced and more forward when it comes to relationships. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times!!!! Have that parent radar out.

Hope this has helped. If you need more advice, just ask!!!

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