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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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We have a 25 year old son, he has a college degree, insists

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We have a 25 year old son, he has a college degree, insists on living on his own. He works as a waiter at the Cheesecake Factory. He works, yes, but he is not paying his bills. His school loans are behind and we are cosigners, bill collectors, especially payday loans, are calling the house etc. He says he is taking care of things but he ISNT!!! We don't know what to do. I'm so mad at him after months of this that I just want to say...we are done and your bills are not our problem. It's very frustrating and today I just told him...I don't believe anything you say.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 6 years ago.

You can withdraw previous supports in stages instead of all at once. Inform him that you will pay only so much towards bills. Since you are co-signers on the school loans and they are for a noble cause (less likely to make you angry), offer to make a small payment on them per month. Let go on the remainder. Give the bill collectors his phone number. Let him feel the pressure. He will need to get more hours to pay his bills and feel the pinch of these high cost loans. The best lessons are learned through the natural consequences.

Good luck.
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