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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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my husband has a daughter whom he spoiled and set no rules

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my husband has a daughter whom he spoiled and set no rules or boundaries as well as let her have full control of the household she would spend as much money as she wanted and he wouldn't say no even if it meant not being able to pay his bills. We got married she was gonna go to college expected dad to pay for her and her lazy boyfriend to live together. We said no that we would pay for a dorm for her she didn't want to go to college then. She moved in with us, for a little over a year suppose to save money for college didn't and we started charging her rent. She moved out with lazy boyfriend. Now is very bitter because before me and her dad married dad did whatever she wanted. She won't talk to dad now its truly tearing him apart. How should it be handled. Should he pursue talking to her or let her come to him?
First of all, it was in the best interest for the relationship between you and your husband to have his daughter not live in your home. It seems as though she is being controlled by her "lazy boyfriend" who is probably telling her not to associate with her dad because she seemed to previously have a good relationship with him. I would suggest that your husband lay low for the time being. He can not change your daughter's beliefs and feelings no matter how hard he may try. As painful as it may be, he needs to keep his distance for now. When his daughter is ready, she will call or visit. She needs him more than she realizes right now. Give it time. Time does heal all wounds.
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