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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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My son is a junior in high school. He has a passion for golf

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My son is a junior in high school. He has a passion for golf and attends a golf and academic school in Florida (we live in California). This is his first year. He plans on going there his senior year, as well. He gets very good grades, is on student council, volunteers, and works very hard at golf. All his teachers, his golf coach and advisors say he is respectable, works hard and sets a good example. He is a great kid. Having said this, he has hurt the trust we have had in him and we are very hurt and disappointed with him. Over Thanksgiving break he lied to us about where he was at (he said he was golfing and when out with a girl friend). He also snuck his xbox in his luggage knowing full well we did not want him to have it back at school. There has been other issues similar to this. He is also not engaged with us as he once was. We know this is an age for boys to start distancing themselves, we have lots of friends with boys and have seen this phase. However, in our hearts we feel he is at a turning point and we have lost our trust in him. Any advise on helping us with this issue????
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

I was wondering why your son is away at school in Florida and your family lives in California? Who is your son's parental figure or guardian while he is away at school?


Your son may be doing many of these actions while he is at school as well. Since you are not with him in Florida. you would never know. Now that he is at home, he wants to try and continue with this same type of behavior which you must not tolerate.


It will be hard to punish him while he is away at school. But while he is at home, you can limit his time with friends, take the video systems completely away, take away his cell phone if he has one, and other items that he enjoys. There must be consequences for his dishonesty.


My concern is...who can enforce his acting appropriately at school? That will be the key factor. Otherwise, maybe he should not attend that school for his senior year if his behavior is heading down the wrong track. He must follow through with his actions so you can regain your trust back in him. More watchful eyes need to be in his life.


Boys may distance themselves but you must keep communicating with them in open and honest fashions. Let them state their feelings, and as parents then you state yours.


I hope that this has helped. If so, please ACCEPT so that I may be paid for my efforts!!! Have a great week.



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