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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My son who is 8 does not try at sports or school. He is extremely

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My son who is 8 does not try at sports or school. He is extremely bright, he gets A's in class, etc. He is also a very good hockey player, and a very fast skater. However when it comes to actualy performing in a game or at school, he just gives up. For example, at hockey if he and another kid are after the puck, he will skate like crazy to get it, but closer to the puck, he just lets the other kid take it. Or in school, he is very very good at math, can do it at home, can do his homework in minutes, wizes through it. But in class, let's say a test, he gets sloppy, doesn't focus and just gives up. When asked why he states he didn't feel like doing it or comes up with an excuse of how his leg suddenly hurt (for the sport), so he couldn't get it.

His father can be pretty hard on him specially in hockey, but it's not just hockey.. he can do things so well, but simply does not try. His father things he needs mental therapy. I think he is perfectly fine and just needs us to lay off pushing him.. though lately I am starting to think maybe there is something more we can do to encourage him to try.

Another excuse he gives.. for example in lacross this summer, at the evaluations, he didn't so well at all and was therefore placed in a more beginner division. After the 1st game they transfered him to the higher division because he obviously played better than at evaluation. When I asked him why he didn't try at his evaluation.. he said 'it was too easy, of course I could do it.. what is the point'

Please help me help my son be all that he can be.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Relist: No answer yet.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

What are some things that your son does do well and follow through with? What seems to motivate him with those things? Often children are observational learners and model behavior that they have seen. Is there a significant figure in your son's life that gives up easily?


Does your son have many friends? Is it possible to pair your son up with a good friend on a sports team?


With regards XXXXX XXXXX have you discussed the issues with your son's teacher? How is he doing overall in all academic areas?


There may be some underlying issue as to why your son gives up in many situations. He needs to develop greater confidence in his own abilities and more self esteem which is he truly lacking. It is possible that you could try psychological counseling. First if there is a school psychologist available, ask him/her to speak with your son. State your concerns first. If that option is not available, go through your health insurance. It is worth a try. Counseling could provide your son with the tools and techniques that will make him feel better about his abilities. You can even receive counseling as well to acquire intervention strategies in dealing with your son. Your son is still young. He has the potential to do great things in this world.


I hope that this has helped. If so, please ACCEPT so that I may be paid for my efforts. Positive feedback is appreciated as well. Have a great evening and rest of the week.Laughing

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