How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Bonnie Your Own Question
Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Bonnie is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Please help us...we have a 3yr old son, who is very smart,He

This answer was rated:

Please help us...we have a 3yr old son, who is very smart,He just can not control his self, we cant take him any where. If he sees something and he wants it , and can not have it he just goes wild on us. This happends not only when we are out but even at home. He will scream, kick, hit,us and even his older sister. He use to go to a school for speical needs but they do not have the program anymore, and he only got to go 1 day a week for a hour because they didnt see the actcions like we do and he is a very smart boy. When he doesnt get what he wants he makes a very big seen and its not just for a bit, it can last all day he will follow you around and sreams and hits and tells you your bad mommy or who ever it is he is with. He does not know how to calm himself down, he sweats, crys , sreams, till he makes himself gag and thowups! He also has been saying to us when he is mad, i am going to kill you! We have tryed the time out, the corner, redriceting him to something diffrent it does not work! He has had a tap on the butt it dont work. It is so bad we cant get anyone to watch him so we can have our time, we go to work to get away from him we have 1 babysitter and that is for a few hrs so i can work. We cant even take him places because we never know what will happen. There is much more but please and help you can give us please? We are at the last ends of our ropes and we dont want to keep living like this, we cant handle it no more. Thank you for your time.
Because of the intensity of the behavior problem I would have him evaluated by a child psychologist to determine whether or not he should be on medication. If the psychologist determines that medication is necessary he-she will refer you to a Child psychiatrist for further evaluation and discussion of use of medication in such a young child. When the behaviors are this intense, medication is often needed.

In addition, psychologist may recommend play therapy or behavior management therapy for parent and child.

You can find a psychologist at look for a psychologist who does assessments in young children.

I hope this information helps and thank you for trusting JA.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
on top of a little of what i just told you, he breaks all his toys, throws things. After he has broke a toy he naggs us for hours to glue, tape, fix it anyway we can, if it cant be fixed he get really upset and has a big melt down. and he demands we do things that we just can not do! He also will kick and pull our dogs hair just to be mean to them. He tell us that we are bad and i am going to hit you mom , dad who ever it is. But on the other hand when he is good he can be so sweet and will use no thank you, XXXXX XXXXX welcome etc he has very good manners. he also tens to call us names like butthead, bone head, etc and when we try to tell him that them names are XXXXX XXXXX they hurt our feelings he just keeps saying them over and over and laughs. You had said about maybe some meds for him if we have to, my qustion is what kind and what do you think is wrong with him?
I think he may have Oppositional Defiant Disorder or Intermittent Explosive Disorder. The 2 most frequently prescribed medications for this behavior are Risperidone and Tenex. They calm aggressive behaviors.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
i am sorry to keep you, but i have so many qustions, and you seen to be helping so far with what you can help me with, i am really in need right now, we just came back tonight from a christmas prade, and we had a bad melt down that started there because he wanted a preaset off of one of the floats, something he couldnt have, and after the prade he screamed and fought us to buckle him in the carseat, by now he had his 12yr old sister crying, his dad about to lose his temper, and i am in the back seat trying to calm him down as he is crying for me to take him out of his seat and rock him and hold him in the car, we then tryed to take him to bk for dinner to play in the play room and eat he was happy with that got him to stop crying and calm down.... BUT we went in to get our dinner have not even ordered yet and there was a big case of the toys that are in kids meals of little stuffed animals... and here we go again he wanted the monkey out of that case, he tryed to pull the case down to get it everyone in there was looking at us, we try to tell him it might be in his bag when he gets his food that was not good anuff, he wanted that one, one of the workers without us even ordering yet gave him a bear he then throw the bear down and went right back for the monkey in the case, come to find out they didnt have the monkeys the was out of them, now we have to leave because of his actions with no dinner and back to car screaming, kicking, crying same to what we just was out of. the hole way home i held his hand, rubbed his head talked to him calm he wanted me to hold him in car and rock him, once again i couldnt because car was moving a we was still 25min from home, this is not the frist time this has happend, just in diffrent places like stores etc, and in store he will try to push people out of his way and there carts.
I think at this point, until you can get help, you need to avoid stores altogether with him. The situation you describe sounds like he may have been either overtired or overstimulated. So it will help to make sure he sleeps and eats before events in case that is a factor. Also when the psychologist evaluated him, be sure to also look for Sensory Integration Dysfunction which is a condition that causes overstimulation and acting out behaviors. He sounds like quite a complicated little boy.
Finally, some of this might be early signs of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or even Autistic Disorder (thus the professional evaluation to find out which). I don't mean to alarm but am trying to give all the possibilities for your information. Remember, we can't diagnose in an on line forum like this.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Yes i understand what you are saying, and i do belive you are right we have been thinking the same as you are saying and after tonight and how he has been getting worse as time goes on we have talked about getting him to a dr soon and somewhere not sure how to go about it but will will be finding out asp!! We cant deal with this anymore, its been very hard on all of us, that is why i had to turn to someone tonight even know i am beat and its late. I just have to ask you a few more things. Even know i hate to keep that little man home bound because its getting cold here in ohio and he wont be getting out much, thats one reason we have been trying to get him out because i was thinking the reason he is like this to is because he is inside in front of tv all the time and thats no life,,, but i do see having to do this till we get to a dr. When we do keep him home and he acts like this in the house what would you think we should do when he has a big melt down just at home??? And does the fix it, i want it, i have to hold it, etc then gets mad?? time out dont work, corner dont work , and i really really hate the tap on the butt! can u maybe give me a few tips to help till we can get him looked at? And my last question is if i buy this ask question thing that they keep showing, what are my chances of getting help again from you till we can get may baby some help? So if we have anything diffrent pop up from the stinker you can give me a hand like tonight? And yes he is a very complicated little man , he gets us so mad but then he has a good side too but he can turn fast and i mean fast !! So we want to do what we can to help him and us!
For the meltdowns, put him in a safe room and just ignore him until he calms down. For the demanding behavior, try "removal and distraction". Take him away fro the thing that is on his mind and give him something just as interesting. Keep some activities that he likes put away and bring them out when you need a distraction. I know this is not easy and that is why I think you need the medication first.

I do not know about "this ask question thing" but you can get me to answer your future questions by starting your question with For Bonnie:____.
Bonnie and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Ok it was just a thing if u buy it for 10.00 you can ask qustions anytime for 10.00 a month. I want to thank you for all of your help tonight you have made me feel much better and i have thought he needed help before, but didnt know if i was wrong and maybe he was just spoiled. But ok maybe a little both, but i am going to check into some help for him asp and i want to once again thank you very very much for helping me and letting me vent, in the mean time I might have to look you up again so be ready lol! You have a great night and thank you so much and after its all done i am sure my little man Gage will thank you for the tips to get his mommy on the ball to help for him. It was great talking to you I am very happy with all the time you gave me. And i am sure my family will thank you to! Take care nice to meet you!
Oh, and thank you for your kind words. Be sure to press accept now and ask for me next time!!
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Smile this is for Bonnie, Hello Bonnie, Want to frist of all say merry christmas ! I also am sorry i havent got back to you sooner but just been so busy. We did get our son Gage to a pschologist in cleveland ohio, and everything went well, she did say that he has ADHD and ODD , because of his age and not very good eating we didnt get meds for him, but she did say that she wanted his dad and i to go to some classes to learn how to deal with him and to try to help him intill the spring when she will see him once again and maybe start some meds! It is still a struggle for us , but we are going to do the classes and do what is best for all of us. I want to thank you soo very much for all the help and the things you said he may of had was right on the dot! Thank you again, hope we can keep in touch! Tonya
Thank you very much for the feedback. You are taking all the right steps. Yes do keep in touch. The parenting classes will help too. Best wishes....