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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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What should I do about sibling rivalry between my two girls,

Resolved Question:

What should I do about sibling rivalry between my two girls, 11 and 8 years old?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

Hello... welcome to Just Answer.


Are your daughters actually hitting each other or is it more verbal?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
It is more verbal. They put each other down and are catty and very competitive.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

Sibling rivalry is normal. Your daughters need to learn how to negotiate, problem solve, and cooperate ...but these skills must be taught. If the put downs continue, tell them that we are using kind words about each other and doing kind things for each other. If they do not follow through, make sure that they know beforehand what the consequences will be. When you hear them talking about each other, set them aside and have them role play the correct ways to speak to each other. You can even participate as a model of what types of behavior you would like them to exhibit. The sibling rivalry is an issue that you must constantly stay on top of or else it will progressively worsen. Also, make sure that you are not showing favoritism toward a particular daughter. Additionally, make sure you as the parent are not screaming and yelling yourself at your daughters when they are "fighting".


If this has helped, please ACCEPT. Laughing Have a great day!!!

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Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Another technique that you can utilize are "I" messages. Have your daughters sit in front of each other and they explain how they feel about each other. Every statement must start with "I". For example, ..I feel hurt when you say I am dumb.....I do not like it when you call me ugly.....I want you to be nice to me. etc