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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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Hi, I just found out recently that im the father of a 2

Resolved Question:


I just found out recently that im the father of a 2 year old boy!
How do i approach the kid in the sens of telling him im his father.
There where no father figure in the last 2 years!
What i dont want is to force him to call me dad it must be real if u understand what im
getting at!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 6 years ago.
How exciting for you? Since he has never met you, it would be best to get down on his level and say "Hi" and offer him a small toy such as a Hot Wheel car. Then, get on the floor and play cars with him. If he acts shy or clings to his caregiver (?mother) just quietly back away and sit down. Then, wait for him to come to you to get the car.

Please look at this through his eyes and do not overwhelm him. Look at his reactions to help you gage what to do next. Let him lead the interaction. To a 2 year old who has had no father figure, if you say "Hi, I am Daddy", it would be like someone saying "Hi I am Mike". He will not understand the situation at first.

If you are going to get full custody, the transition to your house should be made slowly as this change will be very traumatic to him. You will both need time to get used to each other. I know you are elated but what if he has some behavioral issues to begin with. They will get worse when he is taken from who he knows as his primary caretaker (?mother).

Rather than have a "fight" for custody, why not see if some arrangement that is agreeable to all can be reached. It would be better for the little boy to see that all his parents get along.

Good luck.
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