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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 7 year old daughter is in 1st grade. We gave her an extra

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My 7 year old daughter is in 1st grade. We gave her an extra year of pre-K, hoping that that would help her gain maturity. She is having problems with crying, having "melt-downs," in the teacher's words and today she got upset at not winning a game and hit herself with the placard that she was holding and threw a magic marker to the ground. What should I do?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
I can provide you with a comprehensive list of strategies to help you deal with your daughter's behavior. I have years of experience teaching first grade. Would you like that list?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Yes, I would like the list. I am especially worried that she hit herself with the placard.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Ok...I am preparing a list now and will send it to you. If you have any other concerns before you receive the list, please ask me. Thanks!!!
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Do you need more information?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

First of all, keep the lines of communication open with the teacher. If you have to meet with the teacher briefly to discuss your daughter's behavior, then feel free to do so. As a parent, you do have that right. I did have a concern of how your daughter behaves at home as well. But let's just tackle the issues at school first.


You and the teacher must work together to help your daughter which I am sure that you are more than willing to do.



1. Assess the situation. Determine ways to prevent the situation from escalating to warrant a tantrum.


2. Make sure that your daughter is in comfortable situations.


3. Take the time to talk to your daughter so that she knows that your interest in her is genuine. The teacher should do this as well.


4. Explain to your daughter that feelings of unhappiness are natural, but there is an appropriate manner for public display of emotion. You might want to role play some events relating to this issue.


5. Make sure that your daughter has a lot of positive interactions.


6. Even at an early age, your daughter must be taught problem solving skills: identify the problem, develop goals, develop a plan of action, carry out that plan. You can role play here as well with your daughter.


7. Make sure that your daughter is reinforced for appropriate behavior. The teacher or yourself may want to implement a behavior contract. After exhibiting good behavior for a predetermined numbers of days, your daughter would receive a treat.


8. Discourage your daughter from engaging in activities that cause her unhappiness.


9. Continually provide positive feedback to indicate that your daughter is successful, competent, important, respected.


10. Give your daughter additional responsibilities to give your daughter a sense of accomplishment. The teacher should do this as well.


11. Help your daughter identify when she gets upset so something can be done to help calm her down...walk away, talk about feelings, seek help from an adult.


12. Teach your daughter alternative ways to communicate unhappiness.


13. Reduce the emphasis on competition. Repeated failure may cause your daughter to throw a tantrum.


14. Follow less desirable tasks with more desirable activities.


15. Help your daughter choose activities that do not cause anger, frustration, and anxiety.


16. Sometimes, you may need to ignore the temper tantrums. Do not let your daughter have her way when crying. Show your daughter how to control angry feelings when things do not go her way.


17. Be consistent at all times.


18. This relates to a behavior, the teacher and your daughter can create a contract specifying what behavior is expected and what reinforcements will be made available when the terms of the contract have been met.


19. After telling your daughter that she cannot do or have something, explain the reason.


20. Continue to love your child despite her difficulties.

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I know that this may sound like a lot, but just take baby steps. You want to change your daughter's behavior and it will not happen overnight. It may take weeks, months, or even the entire school year. It can be done but you and the teacher must be on the same page and follow through with objectives. You may even want to have a conference with the teacher and share some of the ideas form the list. Oh, I would not worry about your daughter hitting herself with the placard or throwing the marker down unless such behavior becomes an ongoing occurrence.


I hope that I have helped. If so, please ACCEPT. BONUSES are also accepted in appreciation for my efforts. If you need further assistance about your daughter in the coming weeks or months, please feel free to request me and list my name Erica.13 in the question. Thank you and have a fantastic evening.


Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I am trying to pay for your answer but My screen does not seem to have the accept area or button.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Make sure that you are logged into your account and you should see an accept button now.
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