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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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how does a mother repair a relationship with my 13 year old

Resolved Question:

how does a mother repair a relationship with my 13 year old son? will he ever forgive me for letting him and his lil brother get taken from me by cps?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 7 years ago.
It would be understandable that he would be angry. The first step is to acknowledge and allow his anger. Do not give excuses or defend yourself. Simply say, yes, you have a right to express your anger. In the reunification plan, make sure CPS builds in an opportunity for you and your son to be in reunification therapy where he can express this anger in a safe place, you can tell him you understand, and can start to rebuild the relationship. It may take him awhile but hang in there, he wants to be sure you won't abandon him again.

Good luck
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

i lost my reunification rights,so im doing my own case plan,to try and get reunification reinstated. im only allowed two hours a week for visits and it is very hard on all of us how do i express to him in that lil time we have to spend with eachother that i regret all of this and i love him and his brother and i mean it and its not just words i want him to believe me


Expert:  Bonnie replied 7 years ago.
how did you lose reunification rights? How far had reunify gone?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i lost them because i went to jail for criminal activity after a month of regaing custody back after i was released from prison and completed my case plan i took the whole 18 months due to being in prison working my programs in there once released with in the last 6 months i had left i finished then i messed up again. i still have parenting rights but cps recomends long term placement with family or foster care. i also married a man who phisically abused me in front of my children back in 2004 cps got involved in 2007 they use that against me too what do i do
Expert:  Bonnie replied 7 years ago.
Whew! Your question was "How do I express my love for him in so little time together". While together, have fun! Play games and show him you enjoy being with him and think he is terrific. This will be a start. When your apart, let him know your thinking of him by sending email, cards, notes (nothing deep), etc. Whatever the courts will allow. In the meantime keep a personal journal of all the things you are feeling. Someday (when the time is right) you can offer it to him to read. Write all the things you said above and more.

The point is that actions will say more to him than words. Do not give up on him, no matter what!! When he is 30, you want him to say. " My mother did not give up on me even when I was very mad at her." Even if the "system" places him elsewhere, keep sending your love his way (cards, little gifts, notes, pictures). Do all this (because he is worth it) and I am sure he will forgive you someday.
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