Parenting

Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Parenting
This answer was rated:

My wife and I are raising my 13 y.o. nephew named Randy. He

came to live with us...
My wife and I are raising my 13 y.o. nephew named Randy. He came to live with us when he was 6 because his Mom and Dad became addicted to meth. His Dad lost his job after a car accident and eventually started cooking it and selling it. His Mom was eventually arrested and then completed a rehab program. She went to work for that program after she graduated. She eventually worked her way up to assistant director of that program. She is now working on trying to go back to college to get her couseling degree. She has also been very involved in Randy's life for the past 5-6 years. However, Randy has only seen his Dad 1 time in the 7 years he has lived with us. Randy loves sports and has great leadership potential. But, in the classroom is lazy. He has gotten in trouble numerous times over the years in school for lying to us about his grades. He has also been caught stealing other kid's papers and putting his name on it or printing other student's papers to turn in instead of doing the work himself. And, it is progressively getting worse each year. I am a Physical Therapist and my wife is a nurse. We have provided him a very structured, loving, and stable home for the past 7 years but, he seems to be getting worse at school instead of better. What else can we do?
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Answered in 15 minutes by:
9/29/2010
Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,530
Experience: Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
Verified
What is the routine at home when he gets home from school?
Ask Your Own Parenting Question
Customer reply replied 7 years ago

He is to come home, have a snack if he is hungry, finish his chores ( that should only take him 15-20 min to do if he didn't finish them before school), then do his homework. My wife is usually home when he gets home about 3:30pm. Her shift is done at 3:00pm. then, if he gets his homework done, he can go play until dinner at around 6:00pm.

 

But, much of the time when we ask him if he has any homework he tells us "no" or "I finished it at school". Then, we find out later that he either didn't do it, or he did very poorly on it, or that he stole someone elses paper or copied someone elses paper because he was too lazy to do the work himself. We have now met with the principal and his teachers several times and have a plan in place to close the gap so he has no wiggle room to lie. But, now I'm having trouble getting the teachers to do their part.

It is always a struggle to get the teachers to hold up their end; and rightfully so. I like the plan in place at home. I always say no play time until homework is complete. You have fallen into the trap of buying into the lies that there is no homework. I see it all the time with parents. You want to be able to trust your child and take him at his word when he says there is no homework but unfortunately he has abused this freedom. Fortunately, teachers post homework online these days and communicating with teachers via email makes it more difficult for the child to lie. SO....................your main objective is to keep close communication with the teachers. Keep on top of missing assignments and no fun time until he is all caught up. Now the grand finale.......I tell parents that part of the homework process is that the child needs to show their daily planner/agenda that has all homework assignments written in it as part of the homework process. THEN, he needs to show all work that has been completed before he is allowed to resume with fun activities. So if he did it in school then great. But I want to see it before fun time begins. Don't bring it home? Sorry but I can;t trust that you are telling me the truth so no fun time. Believe me if you stick to this then he should come around pretty quick.
Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,530
Experience: Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
Verified
Dr. G. and 87 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 7 years ago
Thanks for your confirmation. That is exactly what we are currently doing. the problem is that we have a very slow computer (and maybe a computer virus) so it is very difficult and time consuming to get online to check his grades every day. However, his teachers have all been given our cell #'s and are to call us and give us a heads up if and when they see that he has done poorly on an assignment. They are also supposed to send home his graded papers or copies of the graded papers for us to go over with him ASAP. And, this is what is not happening. I am getting ready to go to the school and have another chat with his English teacher as randy rec'd a "D" and a "C-" on two homework assignments a week ago and we have heard nothing from this teacher.
Ask Dr. G. Your Own Question
Dr. G.
Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1,530
1,530 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota

Dr. G. is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Cher

Cher

Teacher

94 satisfied customers

Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2

Jennifer

Jennifer

School Psychologist

77 satisfied customers

Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.

professional_Alison

professional_Alison

Child Care

77 satisfied customers

Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

40 satisfied customers

Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Dr. Shirley Schaye

Doctor

38 satisfied customers

PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy

Eveningstargazer

Eveningstargazer

Family Counselor

31 satisfied customers

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Family Counselor

21 satisfied customers

Licensed social worker and psychotherapist

< Previous | Next >

Related Parenting Questions
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher
This questions is about child psychology. Our dance teacher is preparing our child for a dance competition. She keeps telling the child not to be nervous , not to be afraid. It seems to produce an opp… read more
Gaurav Gupta
Gaurav Gupta
MD, CEO
Post-Doctoral Degree
22 satisfied customers
I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year
Hi Pearl I am a father of two, a four year old girl and a two year old boy. I would like to get some advice on how to calmly handle my two year old. He is quite a handful, and it gets especially frust… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my
My 11 year old stepdaughter is causing problems between my boyfriend and I, we live together, and one of her biggest issues is that she doesn't stop lying, her lies go from “I didn't do it-to lying to… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with
My step daughter is 22 and opted to come back to live with us. I've been with her mom for 10 years now and this child now adult has always been very selfish. She puts herself first for everything and … read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as
Our son, who is in grade 3, has severe dyslexia, as well as dysgraphia) which was diagnosed in grade one, but through the psych assessment we also learned he has extremely high cognitive ability. For … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to
i have a 6 year old about to turn seven.and im trying to teach him discipline because i don't wanna spank or hit. So ive been introducing tasks around the house. And geting him to say yes sir and no s… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has
Hi, I need adice how to approach a adopted daughter whom has started spreading untruths this is a brief only Thank you janys… read more
CamilleRN
CamilleRN
Registered Nurse, Director of Nursing
4,150 satisfied customers
Dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think
dear dr. my son is 12 years old he is smart in every think but when ever we will ask him to study he dont like. he make the face and you fell that he is sick. he sit long time for one subject to do hi… read more
danny541
danny541
Retired
608 satisfied customers
I raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me,
i raised my little girl for almost 4 years very close to me, to build a strong bond. i was a young single mom and did the best i knew how. i then ended up introducing someone into both of our lives th… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in
I have an 11 year old boy that is not doing his work in school. I have put him on punishment, and he knows I am in constant contact with his teacher. It is not that he can't do his work, it is that he… read more
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Dr. Y. Vasavada
Consultant Pediatrician
Doctoral Degree
2,246 satisfied customers
Whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in
whats the best rated kindergartens and elementary schools in the orange county and LA area.… read more
Michael
Michael
Research Librarian
Bachelor\u0027s Degree
84 satisfied customers
This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a
(This is not a duplicate question) This question is for a parenting expert. I have a 5 year old pre-adoptive child in my home. I am her 5th placement in 3 years. This week, she received a diagnosis of… read more
DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD
Associate Professor of Communication
Doctoral Degree
102 satisfied customers
My three year old turning four in September still isn't
my three year old turning four in September still isn't potty trained. When he was two and a half his grandmother saw that he accidentally pooped his pants had lost her mind held him on the toilet and… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My step son argues with me about everything I say. I'm tired
I'm tired of it and want to say something in a loving way … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed
The internet says that when actress, Bette ******, passed away, she disinherited her daughter, B.D. *******, because B.D. ****** wrote a book about her saying that she was a drunk and all of that. In … read more
LegalGems
LegalGems
Juris Doctorate
10,698 satisfied customers
Far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled" Eyre"
far, I have only read chapter one of the book titled "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte. In chapter one, ***** *****, the son of the Reed family, scolds Jane Eyre for reading one of the Reed family's boo… read more
Cher
Cher
Teacher
Masters Degree
94 satisfied customers
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl
I am currently married with 2 children: a 5 year old girl who will be 6 y/o on March, 2018 and my son who will be 3 years old this month (nov, 2017).Their personalities are very different and I'm very… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My 2 yrs old just started climbing out her bed 3 nights ago.
Hi, My 2 yrs old just started climbing out her bed 3 nights ago. We switched her bed to toddler bed last night with side railing but then she refused to sleep in it. We had to put back her crib side b… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x