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Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  20 years of experience as a Psychologist and Parenting Coach. Parent of 2 grown children.
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I was having a very bad couple of days. My car had a bad transmission

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I was having a very bad couple of days. My car had a bad transmission leak to the point it was undrivable. I tried to drive my auxillary vehicle, a pickup truck to work that night and the rear end stripped out and my wife had to pull me home. I then had to drive my wifes Mercedes up a very bad road to a drilling rig which Is rough on it. I had a bad night at work where nothing went right starting with me being late and getting in trouble. The next morning, I noticed a big piece of plastic broken out of the back of the four wheeler, I confronted my 12 year old son about it and he said his friend wrecked it. I was ready to go down to his friends house and talk to his parents about it when my wife told me not too. She said they were the type of people that would give us trouble to no end if we started on them. I told her I wasn't going to stand back and let him destroy my sons stuff and we argued back and forth about it and I was already in a horrible mood anyway. I got madder and madder and finally pulled the cdi box off of the four wheeler and threw it in the woods and yelled "Fine then if its just going to get broken, nobodys riding the [email protected] thing!" I looked at my son who I have always been close to and the look on his face tore my heart out. He has never heard me swear and I hardly ever do, but I could tell it hurt him. It has felt different between us lately and I wish I could take back the things I said and did but I can't. How can I explain too him that I still love him and make this whole thing better? He is my world and I don't want to set a bad example for him. I don't want him to become the person I was the other day.

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I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing. Everyone has a bad day from time to time, including parents. Remember that it is not necessary to be a perfect parent, just good enough. Perfect parents would not be good for children since they would compare themselves to their parent and always come up lacking in comparison. One thing you can do when you make mistakes is to model how to handle them. This involves apologizing, taking responsibility for the mistake and setting things right and learning from the mistake and not repeating the pattern. This will set the example for your son of what to do when he makes mistakes. An honest discussion of how you regret your actions and allowing him to express his feelings related to what happened can go a long way toward setting things right.


I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.

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