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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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I didnt see to it that my son (now 40) got a college education.

Customer Question

I didn't see to it that my son (now 40) got a college education. I feel responsible and can't let go of the guilt. Can you help me let go?

Thank you. Donna
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 6 years ago.
You seem to approach this problem in a way that is similar to cognitive behavioral therapy. I am going to try to guess your negative thoughts about yourself and propose some counteracting thoughts. If these are helpful and you may want to try a short course of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). You can find a CBT therapist at

Negative thoughts: I am a bad parent. I let people down. I am responsible for his problems today.

Possible positive thoughts: I did the best I could at the time with what I had. I can still be a supportive parent to him today. I am not responsible for others behaviors or choices. I may not have ways to support materially but I can find others ways to be supportive.

Finally, just a thought about him....there is a point where, if the individual wants a college education, they can find a way. If he did not want it in the past, there is nothing you could have done.