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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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My 21yr old daughter is causing so much stress i cant bear

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My 21yr old daughter is causing so much stress i cant bear it anymore. she is physically and verbally violent towards myself and my partner, she did assault my partner on a previous occasion. she often throws his belongings in the garden and has threatened to set fire to them and the house. my partner has lived with me for 4yrs now and generally has been an amicable arrangement. she completed college , but has only a part time job so she cannot support herself. friends tell me she should move out, but at the end of the day she is still my daughter and i do love her. she is angry as her boyfriend ended their relationship recently, and her brother has been in trouble with the police. she blames us for everything. i am at the end of my tether and when she returns from a holiday next week i am so scared what she,s going to do next. HELP!
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Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am very sorry to hear about what is going on with your daughter. I understand full well how you feel --- that she is your daughter and you love her and don't want to throw her out. I think,though, you have to make some rules. One of the rules is that she must be in therapy. She really should be in a psychodynamic therapy. If you look up the British Psychoanalytic Institute theymay be able to help you find someone in your area. She cannot continue to destroy your life. Her behaviour is totally unacceptable.

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