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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I also dont believe that she is very attentive to either of

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I also don't believe that she is very attentive to either of the boys needs, wants or cares about their overall well being. She takes our oldest son who is 14 to a Mall in Mentor, Ohio and will drop him off to just be in the Mall for the afternoon without supervision. I do not feel that this is good for him and he could get himself in a lot of trouble. She also still lives at her parents since our separation and the boys don't have much space. She really doesn't take any interest in seeing that they do any school activities or belong to any extra ciricular activities. They come home from school and just sit around. Their grandparents that they live with don't help them do anything either. When my boys are here for the summer the younger one (9yrs) has played baseball (last summer was the first time he ever played) and he played again this year as well and he truly loves it. He also would like to get into boy scouts, but she hasn't checked into this yet either. He is very much over weight (130 lbs at 9 yrs of age) and she doesn't do anything to help his eating habits be better. Our 14 yr old is 230#, 6ft tall, but he too is over weight. He was really fat as a toddler until he had his growth spurt about 2-3 yrs ago, when he slimmed down and really felt better about himself. But she has allowed him to continually gain weight each year instead of helping him to be more active and keep it off. When they come to me in at Christmas time the past 2 years, they both have put on 10-15 lbs since going back to her the previous Aug. Then more weight during the late winter and spring until they come to my place and change their poor eating habits and increase their activities and responsibilities. They both want to come to Illinois and live with me, their new stepmother and step sister (5) and step brother (8). The boys really love on another get along great. And the sister idolizes both her step brothers, but the oldest one especially, and they love her. I sued for custody last year when the oldest voiced a desire to live with me. After waiting a year for the judge in Ohio to finally decide, I did not get the boys. We were all very disappointed but decided to make the best of things. They really love their stepmother and she feels the same, but is disappointed that she can't do more to help them get out of the situation they are in when they return to their mothers. I know that judges don't look at things like that and the boys had an attorney ad lidem (I think that's what she was called) anyway, an attorney that represented them who was more concerned about her pregnancy and forthcoming baby, than she was in the boys. She only talked to me by phone once and I really had more to tell her. I just don't know what to do about this feeling that I am failing them as a father. What is my next step? They will turn 16 and 10 in October. The oldest started high school and doesn't like where he has to attend. He is sometimes fearful and he gets no support from his mother. He really isn't able to talk to her like he can his stepmother. She (mother) doesn't want to get into any discussions about what he wants or needs and she tells him she isn't going to discuss it with him. There was a time when he was too young to discuss things, but he is older now and deserves some answers. He also just deserves an adult to bounce some of his concerns and thoughts off of with fear of them getting upset, angry and yelling at him. He needs some tools to help him cope with these decisions that he has no control over and to help him understand his mixed feelings and changing emotions. He has no one to confide in or even talk to. His grandparents they live with aren't any help either. You should read his facebook pages. It is not good. And his mother doesn't seem to care. Where can I go for help?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 7 years ago.

Hi..Glad you are using our service. I will get back to you shortly. Your best bet is to get an attorney who deals with family law and discuss the issue of modifying court agreements. It does not seem like the situation that your sons are in is for their best interest. Your ex wife seems to not care much about your sons. It is extremely evident in her behavior. Talking to her will get you no where. It is time to take legal action.

Edited by Erica.13 on 9/12/2010 at 11:22 PM EST
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Yes, but I don't know who to get to represent me. The attorney I had for my custody case is probably a good attorney but I am not sure he was really in it for me, but then I didn't have as much evidence as I have now gathered. Maybe he could do better with more to go on as I have more now. But I don't know if I want to chance it with him again and so how does one get an attorney when you know no one, don't live in the state you have to be represented in and can't get other attorney's opinions as to who would do a good job? You folks don't want to recommend someone and no one else does either. I don't want to go to court with a known aggressive, "father's rights", kind of attorney and have the judge look at me like I am bringing in the "big guns". what should I do about finding a goo family law attorney? I do not have a lot of money to spend, have spent more than I have now on the first law suit, but then how do you put a price on your boys' future? That's why I am in such a dilema. Please help.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 7 years ago.
I know how lawyers can be VERY expensive. You can use and they can give you some free legal advice to start and lead you in the right direction. Also you can use as an alternative. Hope this helps.
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