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What is my best defense against a group of people that are…

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what is my best defense...
what is my best defense against a group of people that are contributing to the delinquency of a minor?
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Parenting
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Answered in 1 day by:
7/18/2010
Parenting Counselor: Jennifer, School Psychologist replied 8 years ago
Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience: Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
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Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com!

How old is the child? The group of people contributing to his delinquency... Friends of his?

I'd like to help, but I'd need more information about the situation before I can offer any guidance. Thank you!
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
No its not his friends its a man that I was with for 10 years,my brother and a step-sister whom I have told numerous times that I did not want my 1d year old child at that house but my brother and step-sister say they have nothing to do with it.
Customer reply replied 8 years ago
this man use my son's hemophilia to lie and got me arrested for trespassing then had his child to lie and say i physicall hit her so i do not want my son to be at this house . i know my son loves this person but my son is play two against the middle. this is tearing a hole in my chest . i can't function at all because as long as my son over that house hearing and seeing the lies i know its corrupting his mind.
Parenting Counselor: Jennifer, School Psychologist replied 8 years ago
I'm sorry to hear about this situation. I want to be clear about what you're seeking before I get carried away with an answer, though. Your question was posted to a parenting forum. Are you looking for parenting advice or is this a legal question? If you're looking for what your legal options are, I'd be happy to re-direct this question to the legal experts.

As a side note, it looks like the age of your son was a typo (1d). How old is he? I'm assuming he lives with you and that you have sole custody? That will be helpful information. Thanks!
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
thank you my son is 15 years old. i am ask for advice on handling my mental abused son who is going back and forth with this man who is not his dad . this man is doing anything to start trouble by using children and i'm not really for it .I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET ON THIS PLEASE!!!!
Parenting Counselor: Jennifer, School Psychologist replied 8 years ago
He's 15, so I'm assuming he's your dependent and that you have full custody. He's certainly old enough to understand the rules if you've told him going to this house and spending time with these individuals is off-limits. Does he?? Explain why this rule exists and what the consequences will be if he chooses to ignore this rule. Even if he disagrees, you're his mother and you get to decide what's best for him. Talk with him about what he thinks appropriate consequences for breaking this rule might be (kids tend to tie in more if they're part of this process). Consequences may be anything from losing privileges to having to do certain chores around the house.

Since he's a child and there are adults involved in this situation, you may also contact them to explain that you've decided he'll no longer spend time there for x, y, z reasons. It doesn't matter if they disagree either (again, you're his mother). Tell them you hope they respect this parenting decision.

Lastly, see if you can fill his free time with more positive outlets. Is there any sport or recreational activity he's interested in? Check parks and rec for any group lessons / classes that might be available. There are often summer camps designed to keep kids out of trouble during the long summer months. Giving him a "job" of sorts (Tutoring younger children? Volunteering in a facility for seniors?) might occupy that time for him while teaching him the value of helping others. You could tie this into the new plan for avoiding those you don't want him in contact with. If he breaks that rule, he earns the consequences you discussed. You also want him to find a new positive way to spend his time. If he follows through with that, what can he earn?? This doesn't need to be an expensive gift, of course. It could be that he has control of the remote for that week, chooses a few favorite dinners, or something along those lines. The combination of consequences for misbehavior and reinforcement for WANTED behaviors is usually the most effective.
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
i also am partners in a photography business and i tried to in volce him but he started to be very disrespectful . my son is very confused about this situation. i have already told these people i do not want him in there house and they are still allowing him to be there . so i call for some couseling he haves an appointment on july 29th . so where do i go from here? i'm going up against people who do not have common sense. they do not realie they are playing with a childs mind. what ever happen between i and this man haves nothing to do with my child.
Parenting Counselor: Jennifer, School Psychologist replied 8 years ago
you're dealing with adults with a little less maturity than I'd hoped...

Is the photography partnership a necessity? It seems that having these people in your life at all might not be in the best interest of your son. Something to consider.

Does he know how you feel about the time spent with them? Are there consequences in place now for when he breaks that rule?
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