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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
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please help. I have two children aged 10 and four and a half

Resolved Question:

please help. I have two children aged 10 and four and a half and am nearing 30 myself. my oldest child a girl i was a single mother to until she was four, when i met the father of my son. They never go along. In the past six weeks we have split up, after 6 years, and he's moved out. My daughter says she's relieved as this is what she always wanted anyway. There was agression and some violence in our relationship, which is why it ended. My girl has always been demanding, and prone to agressive outbursts but over the past week it has been awful. Asking/telling her to do anything leads to a row and her storming off. Trying to get her to go out with me the other day led to a row in the street where she kept calling me a f***ing b***h at the top of her voice encouraging my son to do the same, she bit me and hit me 'round the head and face with a shoe. Then and today she wants to "end it all" and i have to watch her attempt to take knives to herself in front of me. what do i do now?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi, you daughter is currently in crisis and needs to be seen by a psychiatrist immediately. Take her to an emergency hospital. If she wants to end it all, you have to be very pro active in getting her help. If you have to summon an emergency transport to get her there do it. Don't wait. I don't mean to scare you but you cannot take what she is saying lightly and it may not be her that gets harmed. Please do it immediately.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you for answering. As an ex self harmer myself and someone who has attempted suicide before obviously i am very worried. Alot of her actions seem to be more attention seeking than serious suicide attempts. She does it in front of me, shouting at me to let her. In that respect i think she's looking for me to talk her out of it by telling her how much she means to me? She took a razor to her leg today, though, when i was out of sight. I've hidden all the obvious ways to self harm but feel ill equipped to deal with this alone. My parents split when i was 12 and i took it out on myself, never on my mum! I would never have spoken to or treated her this way and feel like i've failed. She also says she's being bullied, but the behaviour she describes "they talk to me one day and not the next" seems like very normal child behaviour to me. She's paranoid people talk about her behind her back, even me, and the idea of two of her friends going out without her leads to hysteria and the behaviour today was because of that. I'm terrified of what she'll do next, because i adore her. But it's hard to watch her like that one minute, and the next she's all apologies, cuddles and promises it'll never happen again.
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi, it doesn't matter if it's attention seeking behavior or not, right now she is in crisis. If it's not life threatening then great, at least you have started the process of getting her help. You have had a lot happen in the past six weeks and she is screaming for something. You can't leave her alone and you can't follow her every minute of the day. You can't handle this alone. I know it is difficult to watch especially since you had a troubled childhood but this child needs help now.
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