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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
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I am 41 divorced with a 14 year old teenager (she is a very

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I am 41 divorced with a 14 year old teenager (she is a very typical teenager) girl that lives with her mom. We divorced when she was 1 years old. I am crazy about her and have always been very involved in her life. She is extremely bright and is the most social person I know she has tons of friends everywhere. I recently moved in with my 22 year old girlfriend (her mom remarried and has kids, which to my daughter is half-siblings which makes them my "family" if they ever need help), I have tried to get my GF and daughter to be close. Not seeming to work. Worse my daughter is suddenly full of resentment. would like advice
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Relist: No answer yet.
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi, sorry it has taken so long to get a reply. You can't force anyone to get close to another person, especially a girlfriend. She is a teen and they can very self conscious about everyone around her and she may be embarrassed by you living with her. You also are bringing someone into your life and she may feel that as special as she has been your girlfriend may be taking her place, pretty threatening to your daughter. I would suggest you stop trying to make their relationship anything more than it is, your girlfriend and your daughter. The more you try the more resistance and resentment you will get from your daughter. As she adjusts to your new life with this women and sees that no one is forcing a relationship she will come around. You will be the object of her resentment for awhile, but once she realizes that you are still Dad and treat her as you always have she will feel more secure and allow herself to get to know and be closer to your girlfriend. Let it happen at her pace. Don't try to force anything.
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