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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
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My husband died 3 years ago at the age of 54. He had a long

Resolved Question:

My husband died 3 years ago at the age of 54. He had a long history of depression, and was an alcoholic as well as a problem gambler ( the full extent of which I did not realize until after his death). As you might imagine, this combination of issues created many problems over the the course of our marriage. I feel I would like to discuss the impact of these issues with my children (daughter 27yo and son 24yo), however, I am sensitive to their emotional fragility following the loss of their father and am not sure if,how or when, I should do this. Can you advise?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi, the best thing you can do is go to therapy with them where you can sort out all the emotional issues that surround living with an alcoholic father and husband. Tell them that you would really like to go to therapy and have them with you for support and to learn how to deal with the aftermath. Please click accept and leave feedback.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
While I haven't discusssed this with my children at this stage, I feel it will be difficult for us to attend therapy together - due to individual commitments, aside from the fact that they may not wish to do this.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
still waiting for a reply from my original response i.e if it is not possible for us to attend counselling together, what advice would you give - refer to original question
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi, sorry for the delayed response. If you feel going to counseling together is too difficult you may want to speak to them , voice your concerns and suggest they speak to a therapist on their own. They are adults and can either choose to go or not. However, you will have brought the subject up and made the suggestion. It's then up to them to decide. You are not getting into a deep discussion of the issues but you are acknowledging that there were problems and you feel outside counseling would be helpful. That's about all you can do.
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