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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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We are still separated, my 6 yr old & 3 yr old knows that he

Resolved Question:

We are still separated, my 6 yr old & 3 yr old knows that he has a girlfriend who he works with & knows he has been cheating on me for 11 months now. Should a father bring by 2 daughters to a birthday party knowing his girlfriend will be their? He thinks that it is no big deal and I feel he is wrong and he is causing more harm to my children than good.

Please let me know.
Thank you.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 7 years ago.
What do you mean it is causing harm to your children? How long have you been separated? Why do you feel he is wrong for this?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
We have been seperated for 1 year, he has been coming and going in to my girls lives, has a recent guilty DUI, he never spends quality time with them, there always has to be someone else to help him. My children always say can you stay daddy, then my older daughter sees that he is cheating on me with another women who also is cheating on her other live-in and she saw this when he took them to a beach and of course I was not there. In the mean time my dauthers are still hoping that he would come back because she says this to me and I try to say all of the right things, and give her support. Not only all of this but because he walked out on us we are about to lose our home and he rather pay a boat pmt. In addition to all of this, I have not been able to work and I do everything and all he does is spend 1 hour and 1/2 with the kids a week if that. This to me is a slap in the face to my children and me and it is saying I don't care I am going to do what ever I wish and not even think about how my children whould feel.
This is my opinion but hey maybe I am wrong.
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 7 years ago.
I agree 100% with your analysis of the situation. I think he is not doing right by the children. I wouldn't go as far to say it causing them harm but obviously not being a stable figure in their life is not healthy. I don't know how much say you have in the situation considering you are still married and there are no legal documents laying out visitation or custody. If you don't want to invite him to things then that would be your prerogative. But technically I don't think you can keep him away or force him to be around. It looks like this is going to have to go to court and let the judge order visitation which in the long run would help the children with at least a little stability and predictability. Only then when he misses visits then you can go back to court with proof of his neglect and try for limited contact. Good luck.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX that answer.