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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1525
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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My daughters father has been an absentee father for all her

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My daughter's father has been an absentee father for all her young life (she's nearly 4) and after 4 months without any contact from him, he now wants to return to her life. I have no problems with that. The problem is that my daughter has been having horrific night terrors, emotional upsets and is grinding her teeth in her sleep, then waking distraught and wanting her father EVERY night for the past 8 months, but it has increased in intensity since her last contact with him 4 months ago, when once again, he failed to show up when he said he would. As her father has a history spanning 3 1/2 years of being absent and my daughter is obviously having abandonment issues, I am concerned about her welfare if I allow him contact and he continues to behave in this manner. What should I do and who do you suggest I contact? Thanks so much.
Because there are no legal documents stating he cannot have visitation then you are stuck. With that said, you do have some power in the matter. You can move away so that he can't find you. Or you can contact the court and get parental rights terminated. You should definitely keep this deadbeat away from your daughter but it is going to take legal action to do so. You can try the courthouse or you can try the local social service office so that they can help you with the paperwork. If you have a victim advocacy group in town then that might also be a place to go. I agree with you that he is nothing but trouble and he will keep traumatizing your child if he is in and out of her life. Good luck.
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