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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1525
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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Im writing to ask your advice for dealing with my almost-5-year-olds

Customer Question

I'm writing to ask your advice for dealing with my almost-5-year-old's anger, and helping him manage it.
I confess that I am not as patient as I'd like to be........and I'm sure that if my husband and I modeled healthy ways of expressing anger more often that would improve the situation. For the past six months or so, my son, A (who will be five in a few weeks) has had outbursts of anger that include punching, throwing things, and spitting at me. They usually occur when I tell him that I need to discipline him for disobedience. Sometimes they occur when I take away a privilege (not necessarily for discipline, but just because it's time to be done with video games, for example). Usually I respond very calmly, though there have been times that I have gotten angry in return (the first time he spit at me, and the two times he punched me in the face).
No one in our family 'spits'.....and A is not in preschool, just Sunday School. No baseball players in the family...Can you help? PJ
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 7 years ago.
Spanking doesn't work so stop it. You need to get yourself and your husband in order and under control before you can even think about developing good parenting skills for your child. You and your husband need to straighten up or else your efforts to raise your son to control his anger WILL NOT HAPPEN. If you need to then the both of you go to counseling. You can't tell a child to control his anger when it is acceptable for his parents to act out of control. I am being tough on you here so that it is a wakeup call for the both of you to get yourselves under control first and your child will follow suit.