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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
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well im 25 turning 26, im having my first child. about halfway

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well im 25 turning 26, im having my first child. about halfway through the pregnacy, my girlfriend already has a little girl the age of two, my questions is there any good advise on whats coming, and any best way to also be a good father figure to her little girl? i dont want the little girl to feel like the one that coming is mine and she is sepret because i do see her as my own?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

The fact that you're interested in being a good father figure to her little girl is the first step in the right direction. There are many books available for big sisters to help them with the transition of no longer being the only baby. You can help by ensuring there is time / attention devoted solely to her in addition to the whole family (including her). Some families have special afternoons where they spend with just one child to give them that much needed extra attention. A major change is coming (for all of you!) and she'll need your love and support. When the baby arrives, try to make comments about "my babies" and how much you love "your kids" when you're talking about the two of them. That type of communication sends the message you're looking for.

As for what's coming... What a huge question! Sleepless nights, hoping you're doing it all right, steep learning curves as you read everything you can get your hands on to figure out how to deal with new diapering / sleep / feeding issues you've never had to address before.... I could go on and on. Don't worry, though. It's a roller coaster at first (particularly the first 6 weeks), but know that ultimately you and your girlfriend are the experts on your children. You can read what the experts tell you to do, but take it only as advice to consider and not necessarily the absolute right or wrong way to raise a child. You'll know what feels right for your family and what doesn't. The fact that you're posting on a parenting forum about how to be a good father tells me you're already going to be one. Congratulations on your growing family!
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