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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
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I have been a client for several yrs ,and I must say I thank

Resolved Question:

I have been a client for several yrs ,and I must say I thank you for having this service,unfortunately if I must confess the adults in my family are full of issues I cannot resolve although I am here for them I am getting tired and I am going thru some difficult times in my own marriage of 53yrs .

My main concern are my three grandchildren two girls and one boy all whom I love very much .Thr girls are children of my son and the boy is the only child of my daughter.

both my children are vulnerable and are always looking for love which I know is the one thing people neeed to survive the only fault they have is that their choices are bad.
they are always feeling sorry for them selves there fore they are like the fish in the ocean just waiting to be saved .

I cannot do it any more we are at a point in our life that the grand children are also becoming similiar to their parents HOw do I stop this without creating a family fueid
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

You've already done what you can by talking to them about your concerns. What you can do now is model the behavior you're hoping to see in them. You may even say something like, "I'm realizing as I get older that I've had a really good life. There are times I've felt sorry for myself, but in all honesty I have a LOT to be thankful for." Maybe statements such as these will help them to at least consider the same possibility for themselves.

Another option is to put them into the positions of helping others (vs. always being the ones needing to be saved). Let them see how difficult other people's lives can be so that they might appreciate their own. You could suggest that the family do something good for the community -- for Easter, perhaps, although it doesn't need to be a special occasion. There are so many opportunities to help others and feel good about yourself for being in that position. It may help to deter some of the self-pity and even make them feel proud for their accomplishments. Look into various charity organizations to see how you can help (food banks, clothing drives, local shelters, etc.).

I wish you the best of luck!
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