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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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Hello I have a grandaughter of 9 who is very intelligent.

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Hello I have a grandaughter of 9 who is very intelligent. Her parents are divorced.
She tells my daughter she dosn,t want to go to her fathers. However when she returns from staying with him she then says she wants to go for longer. Also she is very cruel to her mother at times, sayng nasty things. My daughter does everything she can for her,
with far more than I think she should have. She has many after school activities, and has friends to stay etc. If it isn,t what she wants to do at weekends, she moans and sulks.
She has 2 brothers one 11 and the other 6. She gets on very well with them both.
Can you give me your views on what my daughter ought to do to improve things.
Her grandfather wants to give her a good telling off and explain what little her father does (nad what her mother does do for her) as he decided to work abroad as a skipper on a yacht so that he would not have the responsibility of the children every other weekend. Which is what he agreed to in court.

Good Morning,


It is possible that your granddaughter is displacing her frustration onto both parents by a way of acting out disobedient/rude.


Her mom have got to address this right away, so your granddaughter does not make a pattern of it and get away with it.


If there is things she can consequent her with when the behavior is inappropriate, then that may help shape some more positive behaviors. Of course, all disciplining/consequenting ought to take place on a consistent basis.


It may be a good idea for her grandfather to point out the positive her mom does for her. He may want to omit what the father does not do (kids are very observant and she may have figured this out) That way he won't also say negative things about one of her parents.


Assigning her some age appropriate responsibilities would be good whether it is chores, doing her own laundry etc.


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