Have Parenting Questions? Ask a Parenting Counselor for Answers
You have identified something you would like to change in yourself and that is admirable.
You've also mentioned counseling as something you had used in the past. If you still see things in your behavior that you would like to change/improve, counseling can still be used. It is not something that is used once. Working with someone trained in cognitive behavioral therapy can be quite helpful.
Otherwise, you would be doing it on your own (and of what you're sharing) you still need help. Hypnosis is helpful in changing behaviors and habits.
You could try to shift your attention to something positive you can do for others. See about ways you can help people (and that will in a way compensate for the time when you had hurt them) The beautiful part about life is that we can change how we act and we can make life for others better in small ways. Try to find out what your talents are and share them with others. Do not be too harsh on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and as long as you want to correct them, you're on the right path.
The Power of Serving Others: You Can Start Where You Are by Gary Morsch and XXXXX XXXXX (Hardcover - May 25, 2006
Self Hypnosis: Easy Ways to Hypnotize Your Problems Away - Revised Edition by Bruce Goldberg (Paperback - Mar 30, 2006)