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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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My teenage son has not been doing his homework, and has had

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My teenage son has not been doing his homework, and has had punishment exercises for it. He has forged our signature on the forms and is now threatened with suspension. He was in top class til last year. WHy is he lying and feel unable to come to us for help til too late?

Good Morning,


Forging a signature is definitely something warranting a consequence.

If it is possible, try to see if he is having difficulties with the school work of if he simply does not feel motivated to do it. That would make a difference.

If he had never lied before and had in the past done well in school, it may be helpful to inquire as to the most current behavior and motivation behind it.

Punishment does not allow for one to correct ones behavior. I rather prefer calling it a consequence where the person has a chance to prove oneself and be acknowledge and or praised for it. If he has any special privileges, those may be used as consequences (taking those away until the behavior improves) Of course, always let him know how to earn the privileges and have a reasonable time frame that would be a motivator for him. Always follow up with your consequences and rewards in a consistent way.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
He has lied before and got into a bit of picckle last year at school. Not doing homework but saying he none or had done it. He's been off school with flu and is now terrified of going back and facing the consequences. what's good advice to help the return to school? apologies to teachers? seeking councelling advice? I'm also concerned he didn't come to us before it got so bad.

You are right he should have come to you earlier but that can be blamed on his youth.

Try to see if there is a guidance counselor at school that can assist him. Apology to teachers may be appropriate as well. School usually provider a counselor so it may be a good idea to connect with the one at the school. If that is not an option, your insurance may give you a referral to someone that can work with him (if he is willing to do go to counseling) The school counselor should be able to address the issues as well as the guidance counselor (unless the school uses the same person for both titles)

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Your advice is good, he is terrified to go back to school having been off with flu'. Bad timing. ANy good coping strategies for him to try and hold hi head up and get thro' this.

Just encouraging him and pointing out that this is something that happens to others, having him focus on the things that he has control over (such as making up work, talking to teachers and working on his honesty) Let him know that you are there for him and that you understand that young people make mistakes in their life-that's how they learn and that you would back him up and support him as long as he puts forth an effort.

It is best that he focuses on the positive and things that are within his control. He could ask teachers and the school counselor for some tips on how other students in his shoes had been able to move forward. Teachers usually understand when someone had been ill and adjust their work accordingly.

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